Banks & Blog

Grinding Gears

2010-09-14T20:09:00.003-04:00

7:05 am, my eyes open, a broken thought runs through my head. Did the professor say we were suppose to meet earlier this week? I run to look at the schedule to see class started at 7:30 today, an hour early! Oh crap! Grab my baseball cap, my books, and shoes, as I hit the road. Thinking, please, please, it's election day, let the traffic be light today!

Sure enough, the traffic was light, and I knew I had to keep moving, as I shifted the gears up and down, making my way to class. Normally I wouldn't sweat being a few minutes late, but in our program, the door shuts at the start of class, and doesn't open till the end. One missed class is like missing a weeks worth of content.

The program so far, feels a lot like my trip into school today. The classes are very fast paced and the instructors are not going to wait for anyone to catch up. This seems very apparent as I see my class shrink weekly.

I must say though, that I welcome the daily challenges, grinding a few gears here and there, but passing through this thick blended medical concoction.

Radical Change

2010-06-06T18:08:00.002-04:00

It's been quite awhile since my last entry. A lot of new stuff is going on, and i'm pretty excited! Sometimes that nagging feeling, or that voice we commonly ignore needs to be listened too.

A couple of months ago I decided to listen to that voice, that gut feeling. I walked into work on a friday afternoon, and after more than five years I resigned from my job.

This was of course not a random careless decision. It surely sounds a little crazy, almost radical. I've been battling the desire to do something that is more rewarding, and that I am passionate about.

I have enrolled into school for my second degree. Now with a BS in business, I have chosen to go into the field of medicine, an area that i've always had an interest. The specialty i'm looking to get into is Physical Therapy. I feel a strong calling to pursue this field to help engage in a field where I can help people recover from their injuries.

Tomorrow marks a big day, it's the first day of classes. It should be a pretty awesome day!

I will keep you all posted. This new journey is not going to be easy, but I know its going to be so rewarding.

Wafting 101

2009-07-15T21:30:00.004-04:00

It was the ninth grade, Mr. Dinges class, in which I remember the first use of this word, waft. Chemistry was a subject that required precision, and some adventure. This also was the introduction to the scientific calculator, something that didn’t get me that excited.

What I did gravitate to, was the fun lab experiments where Dinges let us work together and mix various chemicals. Heating beakers with the bunsen burner, and working with all the acids and bases, seem to push and excite us. The mix of fear and empowerment to work with items that could maybe explode, or even burn us was instrumental as a young boy, to the interest of the subject.

Mr. Dinges laid out the safety instructions, as well as the precautions and rules to follow. During the demonstrations, as he followed through the examples, he made it clear that you should never inhale the chemicals directly. You should take your hand and waft it in your direction.

I won’t forget that day, and anytime I smell a really foul odor, sometimes… it makes me think of that very moment. Today just happens to be one of them.

The past two days I’ve been in kind of a cleaning frenzy. I spent most of the night after work cleaning up around the house and cleaning my car. It is amazing how much one can appreciate when things are clean and tidy. There is much more ahead, and to that point, I was thinking about cleaning out the refrigerator.

The thought was a good one, but it was met face first, when I attempted to claim an Edy’s Fruit popsicle from the freezer. I am still baffled at how it is possible, but this unearthly odor came out nearly before I was able to get open the door. It almost knocked me out. Mr. Dinges probably would have handed me a box of baking soda and say go at it, but dear lord!

I am very curious how something can rot at that temperature? As a child I may have been somewhat excited about working with varying chemicals, but now grown up, I am struggling to not avoid what has defiled my freezer. No waft, or mask, will make this search any easier.

Fallen Friend

2009-01-02T19:29:00.002-05:00

Brian Merritt was one of those guys that could not only make you laugh, but a person that was genuine, kind, and reliable.

I’ve known Brian since the early days of elementary school. It’s was crazy but growing up year after year, he always ended up on my baseball team. Brian was that guy who would cheer on his teammates when we won, and when we lost. And we lost a lot. Brian was always the guy to help us keep our heads up.

I remember last year around Christmas time running into Brian. We were both in town and ran into him while I was meeting up with some friends. It was so cool to catch up. Brian was real excited about his job and career. What was so cool, was to pick up where we left off. He was just that type.

A week or so ago, Brian shot me a message letting me know he was heading into town and to wish my family a great holiday. I unfortunately didn’t get to see Brian while I was in town. I am sorry I didn’t, but am grateful that we did communicate.

I was driving down to Sinai Hospital today, and just recalling some of the great memories of my friend. I know a lot of them were years ago, but it did get me a little choked up.

Brian Merritt, you were a great friend, and person that I will always hold in high regard. Thank you for your sense of humor, thirst for life, and most of all friendship. You will be missed by many.

Glimpses of the Holiday Spirit

2008-12-09T18:53:00.002-05:00

Ever had a day just a little more tiring than most?

Well, that was my day today. Though there is something nice about being on the road early enough that traffic is sparse. You almost feel like the road is all yours.

So i've been listening to the holiday music on my commute to work. Slowly, I think I feel the season soaking in. The fact is almost anywhere I go, I hear Holiday music. But I don't think for me that it is the music, or even all the Christmas decorations that makes me think the holiday spirit is here. It's something different.

After work today, I got my hair cut. This stylist was a new one. She did give a good haircut but I was more impressed with how she treated her customers. I guess the best way to describe her is kind. I'm starting to notice kindness more often, and surely appreciate it.

The fact is, she was somewhat nice to me, but it was more how she treated this elderly woman while she was in the middle of cutting my hair. She without hesitation stopped what she was doing, and spoke to her in such a nice way, and then spent time on her hair. She even helped the woman call her ride.

It was just nice to see patience and kindness like this in action. I've had my haircut many times and have seen good customer service before, this was different, and just pretty cool to see.

I made it a point to let her know that she does a great job, and handled that one situation very well. The hair cut honestly is not the best i've ever had, but I think i'm going go back to her anyways.

At much surprise, as I left the building, right in passing, a child walked by and told me to have a great holiday, and continued to walk on.

All of this kindness revealed after a long day, got me thinking.

I would pinpoint for me, that the Christmas season has started.

I have a feeling that this will be a great Christmas.

Back to Blogging

2008-12-03T09:36:00.003-05:00

The other day I was thinking back upon some of the events and things that have happened in the past few years. I thought it was kinda of interesting to go back and reflect on the days past.

So now i'm going to try to get back into blogging again. I am very excited about this upcoming year, and am looking forward to highlighting all the cool and fun things to come.

I'm looking forward to sharing the times ahead.

Banks

The Fleece Exchange

2007-12-28T19:07:00.000-05:00

Are you the type of person who prefers a crowded room?

This time of year is flat out crazy. People seem to be running around everywhere, shopping, dining, and traveling.

I headed back into town today and knew I had tons of errands to run. First of all, I had a great Christmas. I received a lot of great things; my family and friends were overly generous.

So tell me, do you also have trouble returning items you didn’t like or maybe didn’t fit?It’s weird, it’s almost like when you go out to a restaurant and what you receive, just isn’t exactly what you ordered.

Well, today I had to exchange a gift. Funny, you think that after a long holiday shopping week, and with Christmas over, that things would lighten up.

Yeah, that wasn’t the case today. I turn into the parking garage, and my search for a spot went from optimistic, to frustrated, to flat out “mission impossible-like” strategic.

My mid-afternoon visit to the mall would begin as I nosed my car up to the seventh and final floor of the parking garage.

This whole experience started to get me thinking about strangers and people in general. What is it about large volumes of roaming strangers, that changes a person? People go nuts this time of year. Why?

Anyways, I was briefly at the food court, and realized that there was not nearly enough seating for number of dining customers. It made the trafficking through, equally as enjoyable as finding the parking spot.

Off to the department store I went, to make the exchange. As I walked, I looked at the unfamiliar faces all around. I thought to myself, why is it that I at times find myself more interested in the people I read about in books and magazines, or even as to the extreme as those that I think of, that are named on a dedication wall, or in a cemetery?

Generally speaking I think we as a culture are so tied up into our own lives, and the people and things that revolve around it, that everything outside of that is normally not of interest. I think we have become so narrow focused that our peripherals have become blinded.

It doesn’t help that we have twenty things rolling around up in our heads at one time. And that our attention spans are limited to maybe five minute intervals.

So I thought again. How can we want to care more, or be more interested in those outside our bubble of life? Does it matter that we don’t want anything to do with them? Should we engage the unknown?

Frankly, I prefer the road less traveled. I am not excited when I have to wait in any type of line. Sometimes I just think that waiting in line is just another way to test our patience. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have a complete disdain for lines, I just notice myself having to more consciously control myself.

I think there is something to learn though. Whether we are out at the local shopping mall, fast food restaurant, movie theater, metro station, school function, or even a local pub; we need to be more aware of those around us. To respect them, their issues, and their lives.

Just some thoughts that came out of my trip to the mall.

Updates

2007-10-10T19:11:00.000-04:00

It's been sometime since my last post. I think it is time for some updates. Here are a few brief recaps of what i've been up too the last couple months.

Late July- Vacation to Arizona. Took the trip with BJ to tour the great places of the the state and to visit the Cowans.

Key moments
- Attending Elevation Church Service and Link Groups
- Hiking in Sedona, jeep tour, and "Cathedral on the Rocks"
- Grand Canyon, mind blowing experience

Mid September- Beach trip with Link group. Took group to my parent's place on the water.

Key moments
- Gail force winds and rain the first night, and the hang out time.
- Fishing, Alex catching an eel and trying to pull out the hook!
- The dinner and Crab feast the last night of the trip.
- Golf at the Bay Club with Donnie, Brian(brother), and Danny (his friend).

Late September- Started a new Soccer team playing Wednesday nights. Also, had a Salisbury University college reunion with some of my old friends. We traveled to Salisbury and stayed in Ocean City.

Key moments
- Have won the 1st two games.
- Having fun and gelling as a team.

- Reunion 1st night at "Breaktime Bar and Grill", our old stomping ground.
- Ocean City fun out and hanging with the crew.
- Some family time

Early October- Link Group has been discussing and brainstorming community service opportunities.

Key moment
- Had first meeting last night, and team has planned to do one activity a month. The first will be in two weeks at a soup kitchen.

NOBLESSE OBLIGE

2007-08-09T19:51:00.000-04:00

On August 7, 2007, Barry Lamar Bonds moved his name up the record books. Barry Bonds, with a swing of the bat surpassed one of the greatest Major League Baseball records of all time, the all-time homerun record. This record ranks up there as one of the best records in all of sports history.

Breaking and holding records is something that is not foreign to Barry Bonds. Mr. Bonds currently holds some of baseball’s greatest records, some included, now all-time homerun king, most home runs in a season, most MVP awards, most walks, as well as an array of other amazing feats. The fact is when Bonds finally hangs up the cleats; he will hold the majority of the all time baseball records. On paper, he may rank as the greatest baseball player to ever put on a uniform.

So why is it, that despite all of his amazing achievements, that he will never be known in the public eye as the greatest?

It isn’t his poor attitude, defiant nature, or lack of world series victories. It comes down to whether if in fact, he cheated on baseball, the fans, and himself.

“Since 2003, Bonds has been a key figure in the BALCO scandal, though Bonds has never failed a steroid test. He is also under investigation for perjury by a federal grand jury regarding his testimony in the BALCO case, but he has not been indicted.” (Wikipedia)

"The question is, if a person is considered a Hall of Famer without chemicals but chooses to take them to raise their accomplishments even further, where does that person set in comparison to those who did not?"(AOL Sports)

Should this phenom of a player and genius of a hitter, be shunned for taking a short cut? Is it right for his records to stand up against all the amazing historical greats that he has moved past?

Regardless of his poor media relations and the ethical controversy over cheating, the fans that watch this man, are watching a one-of-a-kind talent. Speculation will continue on whether these records will hold up, but there definfinitely is a mixed level of excitement between watching greatness; and the high level of dissatisfaction, over hearing and seeing the best of our time, take the short cut to legend.

A part of me wants to know why? Why would someone so gifted, choose this fate, a route to unending guilt? A player like Barry does not need to cheat. He is clearly one of the great players in the game's history. One will only guess where this greedy nature turned greatness, into forever, almost the greatest.

Living like JC

2007-07-31T18:34:00.000-04:00

For most that know me, they have seen that I have a short attention span. What this means for me, is that unless the conversation, words that I read, or things that I see have a vested interest for me, my mind tends to wonder. I will most likely just nod my head, or stare until I realize it is something that is not fitting. And when I actually do have some interest, then I will go into something like “banks-mode.” I will get excited or animated about something that no one normally would. It might look like my smile, turning into a grin and then a couple hops or something. I don’t know, I was walking one day and noticed my reflection in the glass during one of these episodes, and frankly I was scared.

Anyways, my point is, it’s tough to find things that I can grab onto and dissect. Our LG is about to start discussing a book, “The Imitation of Christ” by Thomas A. Kempis.

Kempis writes in chapter one:

“Yet whoever wishes to understand fully the words of Christ must try to pattern his whole life on that of Christ.”

This sentence just happens for me to be one of things to get the gears moving, the ideas rolling, the questions hurling, the mind searching.

Have you ever been told by someone who knew a secret, if you just do this first, I’ll tell you?

This isn’t nearly that easy or adolescent. I don’t know about you, but I have a ton of questions. And when I read this, I felt like someone showed me a glimpse of the door.

The word, the bible, the truth. Some may say it’s the most documented piece of literature, ever. Some may say it’s part of man’s biggest hoax. Others may even say it lives, and is something that reveals, nurtures, and guides their everyway. Regardless, it’s a mystery.

I read again what Kempis wrote. I think there is some amazing truth in what he says. How are we to understand what Christ teaches fully, if we don’t try to model Him in everything we do?

A part of me thinks about it briefly in my own language, sports. Let’s take golf for example. (not a surprise) It’s a sport that the majority is bored beyond belief. I’ve heard some even say they would prefer to watch grass grow than to watch golf. Now to appreciate the talent of a professional, to understand the difficulty and the amazing ability it takes to do what a player like Tiger Woods does. Last year, Tiger Woods hit a four iron from over 200 + yards under windy conditions in the hole. Anyone that has tried to golf, knows a four iron may be one the hardest clubs to hit. Under those conditions it would be nearly, or if not impossible, for anyone else. To not play, it’s just another golf club where some guy that’s on TV a lot, hit it in the hole. It’s truly hard to fully understand something if you haven’t done it or aren’t living it.

The other part of me yearns to know God, the secrets to understand Him, and know what it takes to fully understand what He teaches. Kempis I think is on the mark. You must try to pattern yourself after Him, to understand fully, or atleast as much as He chooses to reveal to us. For me, this gives me even more of a reason to strive to be more like Christ. I am someone that wants to know the truth; it feels like getting a chance to get some questions answered, have more questions added, and to know Christ better.

Now I guess I have to figure out what it is to live like JC.

Think like a child?

2007-07-19T15:45:00.000-04:00

This statement was how an episode to the show "Raines" started. I found it interesting enough to post.

"Human beings have the longest period of helplessness of any animal. Fish and reptiles are born ready to survive on their own. Mice are ready in days, granted mice only live for a few months, so for most parents a day seems like an eternity. Anyway my point is, scientists say our childhoods are longer cause we need to learn more to survive. I think it’s cause we’re the only animal that’s aware of it’s own limitations, chiefly among those being, of course death. And In return we get bonus innocence time. When you are a child you believe everything is possible, because in a sense it is. You are a ten... Everybody actually has a shot at being Bill Gates. Oh… not everybody. When you are a kid you believe you are an invincible all powerful being, and the world that revolves around you, has an absolute order where good always triumphs over evil, and everything makes sense." -Raines

Picked last, or not

2007-06-05T13:49:00.000-04:00

I heard a message the other day. It really has resonated with me the last week or so. It has made me think back a bit.

Do you remember the days of the ‘playground’ or ‘recess’? During elementary school we were given time to play in the middle of our day. Almost everyone was super excited about recess and the time to play with their friends. I say almost for a reason.

I found that the times during recess became the foundation or the beginning of teaching me competitive thinking. This is where a lot of us were introduced to team sports for the first time. At my elementary school softball, kickball, and basketball were the most common sports.

I can still remember waiting for the bell to ring so we all could run out to the playground. It was what we all looked forward too, that and lunch of course.

One thing that was required prior to playing each day, was picking teams. Usually the two best players would be deemed as captains and then everyone would line up and one-by-one kids would be chosen.

Honestly, I didn’t think much about it then, but now I look back and realize that day in and day out the same kids were chosen last. Normally, folks were chosen for how well they played, or even how well they were liked. I guess I didn’t think much about it, because I normally was chosen somewhat quickly.

I look back and wonder about this, and have come to the conclusion that this type of thinking and decision-making is simply how the majority works, and this is typical in every facet of our lives. The weak, less fortunate, or inferior tend to be the last to be chosen, hired, or accepted.

A glimpse of hope came charging at me from the book of John.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last.” - John 15:16

I look at this verse and can imagine myself on the playground in the line, nervous that I will be picked last. I feel so inferior, so weak, so small in the presence of God. I read this verse again, and just can’t begin to wrap my head around God’s thinking, but I thank him for it. He says, “You did not choose me…, but I chose you.” The fact of the matter is that God sees no line, and boy does it feel great to be chosen.

I picture the few kids back in the day that were all chosen last, and try to imagine that on one day, that they were all chosen first, and the expressions that would have followed.

We should be joyous to know that our Father doesn’t favor one from the other, and that He has chosen us, despite our failures, short comings, and most of all, sinful nature.

I guess our part is acceptance.

Training

2007-05-10T12:58:00.000-04:00

Have you ever started to enjoy something now, that in the past was not of interest? I know sometimes that types of food, music, or types of movies can commonly be those once disliked to liked mediums. For me it has become running. Not that I did not like it in the past, but it just was not something I looked forward too.

I have been running regularly for the past couple of months now. I have started to see that I am pushing myself to go farther. I regularly run now and have started to get conditioned for longer runs. It’s great. I plan on increasing my runs to four miles a day.

As many know, I am the type of person that thrives on challenge and pushing myself. I have recently have had a strong desire to pursue the idea of running a marathon. It is something that I have always thought of as a major achievement and would like to aim for this goal.

I totally know that this is going to be hard and I will have to dedicate a lot of time preparing and training. I am excited though. I know I can do it.

So feel free to ask me how it’s going, or if you ever are looking for a run let me know, because I’ll be surely pounding the pavement.

April

2007-04-30T23:17:00.001-04:00

This past month has been somewhat eventful. It has encompassed my birthday, a family visit, an injury, weekly running, an 'ace', a tragedy, and i'm back playing soccer!

This April marked my 29th birthday. It was spent out in Salisbury with my family. This was a truly needed time and very enjoyable. I look forward to my next trip.

Early in the month, I ended up jarring my wrist pretty well, and learned quickly how often we take for granted good health.

So for the past month or so, my friend BJ and I have been running three days a week. The excercise and accountability has been great. I have definitely noticed an increase in energy throughout the week.

The weather in April had some bright moments. During one of these days, I ended up taking a client out for a round of golf. There is never a time where a time in the office is better than a day out on the course. This time out was a little unique though. My client Lou somehow managed to hole out from the tee box for an 'Ace'. This is something that is rarely seen or done. It was a very cool experience.

April also was an emotional and trying time for many families and people. The tragedy of the massacre at Virginia Tech truly had my attention and prayer. I can’t even imagine, I really can’t. My twin brother and cousin both attended Virginia Tech, and I know that they were more than thrown back by the situation. My prayers continue to go out to the families and friends of those that have fallen. A special remembrance goes out to Jarrett L. Lane.

As the end of April came, somehow I was talked into playing soccer again. I have started playing indoor soccer on Wednesday nights. Our first game was last week. This team is a house team or undesignated team, so I am a little excited about the opportunity to meet and get to know these new people. How cool would it be if somehow I could use this opportunity to build new relationships and maybe even share some of my beliefs. It's always neat to see how or where God chooses to use us.

I know this much, April has been great. I have seen a lot of new things happening in my life. The repetitive excercise routines, and soccer has really started to get me into better condition. I honestly wake up and can say, I couldn't be happier. God truly blesses me daily.

I await MAY!

Commandment # 10

2007-03-21T22:50:00.000-04:00

In the sixth grade I had this really good friend named David. He was the new kid that transferred in from another school. David had the knack to make friends quickly, and in the midst, I became one of them, eventually one of his best. This guy was real funny, and that cool guy, that everyone wanted to be around. Both of us truly enjoyed competing at sports, and that was what connected our friendship. David became popular real fast and was the guy that all the girls seemed to be talking about. He played in the band, and became a star player of the baseball and soccer team. I quickly started to find myself looking at this friend, and thinking to myself, why not me?

I think we all have our metaphorical “David’s”. I know that even today I find myself wanting traits or talents of another.

"When we envy another, we make their virtue our vice. "
- Nicolas Boileau-Despreaux

It’s funny how Envy works hand-in-hand with Jealousy, and usually turns into bitterness.

Lately, I have been asking myself, is there some easy way to combat this common trap?

Most everyone desires to be smarter, stronger, better looking, more talented, more liked, more important, more _______ (you fill in the blank), than they feel they are.

I find that we live in a culture that is terribly loud (non-audible), where everyone is trying desperately to be heard.

My prayer would mirror Peter’s.

1 Peter 2
"1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind."

Breakfast

2007-03-10T11:33:00.000-05:00

I read an article this morning talking about the importance of eating a good breakfast and the reasons why.

Almost everyone has heard the phrase, “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” I just wonder why so many, even me at times, don’t let it carry much importance.

The article is geared mostly to parents talking about the reasons why their children should eat a healthy breakfast. I am no child though I act like one sometimes and surely no parent, but regardless, I think this information is important to us as well. Stated from the article, these are the five reasons a child should eat a good breakfast:

1. Do better in school
2. Have more focus and concentration, more energy, and better eye-hand
coordination
3. Have fewer behavioral problems
4. Are more likely to meet their nutritional needs overall
5. Have an easier time staying at a healthy weight

I look at these reasons and start changing some of them. I start thinking, Performing better at work… Less agitation and more patience… and the rest seem to fit well. Sometimes I think that there are little differences between children and us. Some may say that we just have bigger toys.

Our physical diets or eating habits are important, but I have recently been thinking more and more on what that looks like in relation to our time with God. I view this article and I have to admit, I start thinking about a spiritual meal. What the heck is a spiritual breakfast?

I read in 1 Peter that we are to crave pure spiritual milk. I read this and started thinking about my time with God. Lately, I have been spending time with Him right before bed. This is the end of the day, after the hours of work, and the beat down. I guess I choose that time because it is when it is the most convenient.

Now I am wondering, after reading an article as such, whether it matters when we are spiritually fed. These psychologists and dieticians are saying that, breakfast is the most important meal. I am wondering what kind of difference it would make, to have my time with God before the world hits me. I am going to try it out, and in the mornings, start having my so-called spiritual breakfasts.

As I re-read the article, I continue to change the words. "Top five reasons to have your spiritual breakfast." What would be yours?

Encouragement

2007-03-08T23:37:00.000-05:00

Have you ever known someone that was just really great at encouraging others? I think a lot of times we look for certain people to be our pillars of encouragement. People like our parents, really good friends, teachers, and coaches.

I can recall one of my baseball coaches. The team we had was middle of the pack in the league. We had some spotty talent but managed to be in all the games. I covered shortstop for the almost all the games and was our lead off hitter. They relied on me to get on base to turn singles into doubles. I was a great base stealer. I can recall the beginning of this one game and the coach came to me told me that I was pitching tonight. I had never started a game until this point. I look back at him and I asked him if he was sure. He looked at me and told me that I was one of his most talented players, and that he knew I would perform well. It’s funny how the smallest words can raise a person up. That game ended up being the best game I would ever pitch. It’s funny my warm up pitches were all in the dirt. But when I took the mound, I was in control. Those words of encouragement spurred on sixteen strikeouts in seven innings. I ended up only giving up one hit during the whole game.

Lately, I have been finding my comfort in the word. I’ve been spending time in 2 Corinthians. The words that resonate are these from Paul.

“Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.“

I think a lot of us get caught up in our own lives that we don’t see what others are doing around us; our friends, our family members, our colleagues. And even worse when we notice things, we are reluctant to encourage. I do think there is a skill to encouraging others. Too much of it isn’t encouraging, and not enough, well you get the point.

So how can we effectively encourage one another?

The other day during one of my normal commutes to work, I was thinking about my family, my friends and the others in my support system. The more I thought about these individuals the more I realized how amazingly gifted they are. I won’t hesitate to say that God has blessed me with those that I know. These folks are the smartest and most talented people I know, and the coolest part is that I get to learn from them.

So I will note if sometime in the near future you get some encouraging words from me, don’t be alarmed. The words are heartfelt and honest, but prepare, as it is me, a smug remark may follow.

A big thanks goes out to my family and friends, you all have truly been an encouraging part of my life.

Redeeming Love

2007-02-27T10:56:00.000-05:00

Why is it so hard to trust and obey God? So often we are faced with choices. Why is He so forgiving? We fail Him daily but He lets us return. Why does He love us so much, yet we deny Him so easily? Regardless of how much we turn our back on God, He continues to seek us out and love us.

I recently read a book about love. What a powerful thing it is- understandably as everyone seeks it, and needs it in their very own way. The novel inspired by the book of Hosea, “Redeeming Love” is a story about the journey of a man and a woman, their lives, and how God chose them-complete opposites to be life partners. This book paints the idea of love in such a real way. The book speaks of it at its core, and the way God loves us.

The main characters in this book were most intriguing. The woman in the book carried many names depending on her situation, but most commonly used the name Angel. Angel was scorned right from the beginning. She was sold into prostitution as a child and quickly learned that her cynicism and pain would be all that she had. Because of this, Angel would learn that love is something that could be used against her. She became cold, callus, and lost. On the other hand, Michael Hosea, was a farmer. He was a respected man with not only integrity, but a gentleness and assertiveness that all would notice. Michael was a spiritual man and relied on God in everything that he did. He spoke to Him often. Michael epitomized what it was to obey, trust, and follow.

The story challenged and tied down my thoughts. God spoke to this farmer one day as he caught glimpse of this woman for the first time. At first sight, with never a word-exchanged prior, he knew he was to marry this woman. This event really hits me as it shows the faith and trust that he carries. His character is continually challenged as he pursues her. I mean-he finds out that she is a prostitute and he still trusts and obeys God. Can you imagine you walking the streets of Baltimore and feeling the divine calling that God has revealed your future spouse, to find out that they make a living selling their body? The way that Michael continues to obey God and truly love her from day one was clearly amazing. What surprised me, was that even with his uncommon persistence, she continued to be cold, callus, and heartless toward his every action. This didn’t stop him. I had a hard time grasping this. I guess because in my dealing with relationships, communication is near the top of the list. She was not giving an inch. So eventually over time and some unfortunate events Michael married Angel to rescue her. Sadly things didn’t get easier for either of the two. The marriage was everything but glamorous. Michael had a lot of work on his hands. Angel, was struggling with so much and couldn’t shake her past. And about the time he was making headway, she decides leave him. She not only leaves him but she picks up where she left off, before her marriage- going back to her sin. Can you imagine? The way Michael dealt with this situation was unreal. I remember the day I found out that my ex took everything we had and muddied it up. It can tear a person apart. And she wasn’t even my wife. Michael had to be torn, again- so hard to imagine. Angel, could still not shake her past, she felt alone, distant, and empty. Finally, a neighboring family comes into the mix that helped grow and encourage her. Despite the closeness that she started to have, the urge to leave again grew stronger. She did not want to let anyone have an edge on her, and she found out quickly that it was too late. Once when she thought love was not relevant, the impossible happened. She was intoxicated by even the thought of her husband. Life for the two of them was really going well. She had come along way since her days where Michael had rescued her. But still she was constantly trying find a reason to get out, and her barrenness and sense of inadequacy was enough. This is when she left again. Picture yourself finally getting over some of the mess that seemed to clear up, to have it happen again. Your wife leaves you, again. Michael’s faith and trust during the whole ordeal was something. Angel on the other hand, still had a lot to work out. She was not interested in what God had to say. Much time had past, first Michael was told to pursue, now he was told to let go. Talk about amazing strength, obedience, and trust. It was about this time that Angel then was forced to face her demons. Her past bounded her and tied her up. Though this time, she saw things through different eyes. She was starting to hear things and voices better, and by the grace of God she was saved and broken free of this bondage. For years she lived with a christian family and this is where she found her faith. Through this time she knew she was to give back, so now she was helping others like her, face their fears.

The end of novel was like most story-book endings, where they-live-happily-ever-after. But that wasn’t what was so appealing or even made it a complete book. It was the journey and seasons where these two people were pulled in different directions to finally find one another. One loved from the beginning, pursuing and forgiving. The other defied, abandoned, and didn’t trust. I wrote a brief recap of the story for a reason. It is pretty clear that this story was a paradigm of our lives and our relationship with Christ. It really hits home to replace the characters and get a sense of Christ’s character. Christ spots all of us and sees our beauty. He continually pursues us, regardless of where we are. Our sin and defiance makes us all soiled doves. He is strong and always there to rescue us from our biggest fears, and even from ourselves. We so easily return to our sin and commonly find ourselves running away from God. He loves us unyieldingly even when we betray and abandon Him. He does feel pain when we hurt Him, and turn away. We feel as though we are not worthy and can’t bear Him any fruit. Even when we fail Him the most, He is waiting with His arms wide open.

I thought the book ended well. Angel, returns to Michael after three years. She sees him and goes to him. Keep in mind, Michael didn’t stop working or hide out in sorrow all those years. He lived on, as Christ does with us. She approached him and stripped away all her layers and past, standing there, revealing herself - humbled before the one she left. And then he clothed her. There is something liberating by this scene, as it is like us coming to Christ, shedding the things He sees through anyways, but showing Him, repenting, and standing there, free.

Sentimental Impulse

2007-01-26T20:06:00.000-05:00

Have you ever quandaried the idea of why we are such consumers? Commerical builders spend millions of dollars to create enough parking for us to pull out our credit cards.

Recently, I just made a purchase which was somewhat methodical, but mostly impulsive. How often do we have to grab that candy car, gum, or magazine on our way out?

I spent my college years studying buyer behavior-the psychology of the consumer, and how to appeal to them.

Currently, I have the title as an Account Manager, but in reality i'm just a salesman. Whatever stigma attached is irrelevant. It's my job to promote products and suit the needs of my clients, or sell them.

So why do I purchase things? Why do you?

It's easy, we want them-think we need them. The fact of the matter is that we buy a lot of things that later we regret or kind of wish we had not. I'm sure that you have had buyer's remorse one time or another.

But there are other times that we end up owning things that are well liked, and grow in intrinsic value over time. They become important to us and even sentimental. We like these items, and look for similiar things, remembering how well we liked the original. A good example of this would be the purchase my father made years ago. Growing up, my father owned a 1965 Plymouth Valiant. Now, a lot of you may be thinking to yourselves, what kind of car is that? No, it's no thunderbird, camaro, corvette, or mustang. But yes to me, this classic rivals them.

Recently, I have been thinking about getting a weekend fun vehicle. So lately I have been perusing the net searching. Strangely enough, I remembered the Valiant and how cool I thought it was. So with a few taps of the keyboard, a picture of a 1965 plymouth valiant appeared. Keep in mind, this is a somewhat rare car so I truly did not expect to find one.

There she was-she stood out and I analyzed the pictures, as memories of the old days flashed back. After a couple of days I decided that I wanted that car. This car was being auctioned so I had to set my price, and sure enough, mister Jon Banks is now the proud owner of a Plymouth Valiant. I'm ready to get my hands dirty, throw on a new coat of paint, and rev-up the 225 slant six.

I surely did not need this car, but there is something nice about getting something for yourself, especially when I know it will carry sentimental value.

Back to the race

2007-01-02T16:35:00.000-05:00

After a long, nice, and eventful time off, I made the early morning trip into office. There is something therapeutic about taking time off. I am so thankful that I was intentional about how I took my time. I truly packed in some quality events. So how did I spend my time off?

Well, I spent quite a bit of the time back at my old stomping ground. My best friend who is currently residing in CA was in town, so we surely made the best of it. I ran into some old high school friends and had some laughs. While I was there I spent much of my time with the family. We enjoyed many great dinners, and had our traditional holiday events.

The second half of my vacation was back here in town. My plans were to meet up with my good friends and relax. It was a great few days, ended with a packed weekend and New Years. You would think that going back to work would have been tough, but after getting the most out of my vacation it wasn’t that bad.

Wide-Eyed Wonder

2006-12-06T16:56:00.000-05:00

"You'll shoot your eye out! You'll shoot your eye out!" This line will always be remembered for it's appearance in the classic Holiday movie, "The Christmas Story." The young boy in the movie as every child had that one toy or gift they absolutely wanted that season over all else. For Ralphie it was the Red Rider BB gun.

The season has come this year and Christmas is around the corner. I find this time of year much differently than I did in the past. But I will say I love to look back and remember how Christmas was for my family.

What I find so interesting, is that now I don't really remember any of those gifts that had my eyes wide and my smile true. What I remember now was the time leading up to the big day. The traditional dinners with the family, cutting down the tree, sledding at the park, the Christmas service, and finally the excitement and anticipation on the eve of Christmas.

Christmas at the 'Banks' household was great. My parents never gave into pressure on killing the surprises of what they had for us. They truly brought the spirit of Christmas around during my early childhood.

So now as the season and Holiday closes in, I remember and reflect on all the great Christmas's that have past. I love the fact that I can hold onto the memories and truly look forward to the more that will be created.

Refine

2006-11-20T16:59:00.000-05:00

Grinding grained pellets into a fine powder. The process that currently I take, to feed the three fish living in my aquarium. See, I recently bought a new kind of food for my fish. The food is designed to float so the fish can manage their eating cycles in moderation. Well, the problem that was occurring was the fact that these pellets were just large enough to not be able to be consumed by the fish in the tank. They attempted to eat with no success.

I was thinking about this the other day, while I was grinding this food up, and thinking to myself of how we as Christians can’t always take everything that is thrown at us. It’s just way to hard to comprehend the vast depth of Christianity and what it is to be holy and living for God. As a mother bird refines food for its young, the feeding of my fish, or any situation where there is a dependency towards another to survive. We as Christians have to depend on God that he will grind and refine our obstacles down so we can be prepared, ready, and satiated.

I continue to look at what areas in my life where I see these metaphorical pellets that are in view, larger than life, but not in reach for me without help. I then think of what I can do in the duration of getting this need met, as we are at the mercy of another.

It's best to play it safe

2006-09-29T18:54:00.000-04:00

Hall & Morcsh write about this myth in their book, "When There's No Burning Bush."

After I read this chapter, I realized as of recent how much this speaks volumes to me.

I do not know if any of you can relate, but there has always been something easy about taking the safe path. I know I have made decisions where I may have chosen one way, but decided to take the sure thing. I mean, I would like to think i'm the type that would live the current common sports motto, "Go big, or go home." Or in the sales world it would be, "I'm not here for the steak knives." In reality, I am taking those strides to get out of my comfort zone to have the faith that God will bless my decisions, but it's not easy, and usually at first, not so comfortable.

It's funny how we have become conditioned to take the safe road. I think a lot of it stems from something I heard in a message on the radio. It's a fact that one of the top motivators of people is fear. I mean how many times have you contemplated doing one thing or going one direction, then to change your mind to take the safer route?

I think God wants us to think big, to take risks, and to rely more on Him.

I think we need to count on making mistakes. The authors explain how we need to 'fail intelligently'. It makes sense, we need to be somewhat calculating, but not so hindered that we slight creativity. Point being, that it normally takes risks, and failures, to succeed in a big way. Just ask Thomas Edison, or maybe just read about him. I would like to think God thinks this way too. Who's perfect? Who's going to have all the answers? Who's never going to do wrong? Who's never going to fail?

I would think that not many can claim to any of those questions.

In the same chapter the writers talk about Jesus and the disciples the night on the Sea of Galilee where Jesus walked on water. Normally, we think of the story how Peter's faith was tested when he started sinking. The fact is that Peter was the only apostle to get out of the boat. Peter clearly stepped out of his comfort zone. Peter was the 'rock.' I wonder if I would have played it safe and been a spectator?

I think this parallels a lot of the decisions that we make as Christians.

2006-09-15T01:11:00.000-04:00

"The Passage"

Naked soul, so lost, and broken

Salient to find rich closeness

Defiant, riddled, and shamelessly sour

So unfit to give in fullness

Flesh and spirit spry

Body and mind acutely restive

Marching and combing for the truth

The world painted gray and derisive

Redeemed and drawn by One

Accepting, transforming, and saving

Failures shine with lucid iniquity

New eyes, ears, piercing, raving

Inward to outward, selfish to selfless

Fueled and fed by benevolence

Notes in harmony, flavors so sweet

Torn between anxiousness and patience

The path beaten, the cross heavy

Maturity does not rescue us

The peaks, the valleys, continually persevere

Trials build strength and purpose

The enemy abides with deception and hate

Attacking, destroying, and killing

Sin so real, so common, so illusive

The battle is on, the powers are testing

The choices are ours, the outcome written

We are a letter, waiting to be read

A living example for those to follow

The light, the salt for those that need to be fed

May we remember that through Him

We are clothed, found, and gracefully healed.

-Banks

Who's Who

2006-09-04T22:48:00.000-04:00

Today marks two years blogging. I have enjoyed sharing my thoughts, ideas, and experiences through the past couple years. Now I would like to acknowledge with thanks those that I value, and that have truly have made an impact in my life.

Parents- thanks for your support and encouragement
Brother- your great advice and understanding
Sister- being the best sister anyone could have
Tronster- leading LG with you has been rewarding, big plans ahead for our group
Mark- the fact that you are growing as leader inspires me to grow
Dave C.- showing compassion in a whole other way, miss the Cowans.
Dave R.- your hospitality and assertiveness is great
Jenn- you have an amazing heart for the needs of the community
BJ- diving into the community and adding a relaxed way, and humor
Aaron- showing me selflessness and passion to help those in need.
Dustin- you bring a lot to the community and LG, I’ve enjoyed our friendship.
Ted- ‘designer Ted’ is the ‘real deal’. Your passion to use your creativity rocks.
Christy- showing me amazing strength and ‘true faith’. God will bless you.
Katie- your willingness to ask the hard questions is a strength.
Eli- you have a servant heart, thanks for all your handy work and friendship
Scott- you are a great person and friend, if I have a question I know who to ask
Rebecca- your friendship and joking around has always been great.
Shannon- your nurturing gift inspires everyone around you.
Lydia- we miss you at link group, you have a great way of connecting others
Sandy- I’ve always enjoyed your wit and sarcasm. You are a great friend
Jason- thanks bro all the help around the house, looking forward to hanging out more
Paul- thanks for your patience and help around the place. You are a great roommate
Mary- your growth and passion to seek out God’s will is contagious
Jonesy- you are a fun person and good friend%

Kokinakos Children: Missing

2006-08-30T09:57:00.000-04:00

Christy Kokinakos, a good friend of mine recently went through a custody battle with her soon to be ex-husband, Stephen Kokinakos. On August 18th, Christy was awarded sole custody of her children, Matthew, Alex, and Christopher. That same night Stephen was to drop off the children to their mother, but never showed up. It has been over a week now; the boys and Stephen are no where to be found. Stephen Kokinakos has kidnapped his own children and is on the run. He is 35 years old with brown eyes, and stands 5'10" with a thin to athletic build. He mentioned that if he would lose the case he would take the kids and flee. He and the children are traveling in a blue 2005 Landrover. Stephen has a temper and is to be approached with caution. Steve knows not to use credit cards and most likely is venturing to campgrounds and rest stops. He has family in Florida and leads also may put him in Texas. Steve and the children could be anywhere. Please check out the link and notify the authorities if you may see any of these people. Prayers for the children and Christy are most appreciated. Please forward this message and link to others with the hope that it will help aid in locating the Kokinakos children.

www.tronster.com/missing

Observations

2006-08-24T22:30:00.000-04:00

Three middle-aged men gawking at a young bartender is pathetic.

Respect at work is not solely tied to performance.

Cheating in anything, is an act that disagrees with me.

I have seen strength come from the most unlikely of places.

There is something appealing about a woman that wears their hair back.

Pessimism is subjective, but almost never needed.

The inventor of ‘Guiness’, must have been inspired by God.

Two articles of clutter quickly multiply.

Time spent with someone can make more of an impact than the words one says.

Bar None (revisited)

2006-08-15T16:26:00.000-04:00

The bar scene, and how ones perspective can change, astounds me. I have regularly been meeting some guys out on Wednesday nights. We have started to make it almost routine to meet there to shoot pool and hang out. I have also been apart of a group that is meeting at another place every third Thursday of the month. My intentions with these gatherings is to get to know those I am with on a more personal level, and have the opportunity to engage in interactions where certain environments may offer easier avenues to do so.

So what I have noticed so far, first, I enjoy the environment differently than I used too. I notice that sometimes I find myself analyzing the interactions around the place and reading into the intentions of the room. I mean, let’s try to get into why someone goes out to a bar or club. One, they are going out to have fun with the group they are with, or two to meet someone of the opposite sex. Most of the time it’s the latter.

Some say that there is a bond formed with those that can drink together. I don’t know if I completely agree, but there is something. Most of our conversations revolve around work, relationships, and whatever craziness is happening at the moment.

Once the scene used to be my playground, now I see it as a place to converse and laugh with those I aim to know, or care about.

Fellowship Flash

2006-08-07T13:04:00.000-04:00

Weekend of community wrapped up with relaxation, fellowship, and eastern shore activity.

Three vehicles hit the road this weekend for time out at my parent’s summer home. We arrived Friday night and all met up at my old college hang out spot. The place reminded me more so of how time flies and things change. We were off to the summer home. The rest of the night we relaxed with beverages and laughs in the hot tub.

A few of us slept in but awoke to such a nice day. We vegged-out with some card games and then the canoe got some action. We feasted on some true Maryland crabs and corn on the grille. The night offered a clear sky as we marveled out on the four hundred foot dock. Two fishing poles clocked in as we angled our way through the moments. We had a blast. We only caught two fish, but we were eating up the experience.

Time almost seemed to slow down. It was great times had by all; we will surely have to venture out there again.

Identity Theft

2006-08-01T10:11:00.000-04:00

I just finished another book, this one titled, “City Impact” by Daniel Bernard. The book absolutely was worth the read. One thing that caught my eye was this concept in one of the later chapters, on this so-called ‘Identity Theft.’

Perhaps you have seen the commercials that catch our attention with wit and humor. These commercials typically use average people doing common things such as mowing the lawn, working out, or other home activities. But as the person starts to speak, rather than their voice, the voice of someone different begins to talk. These voices are out of place and differ as such that they may be in fact a voice of someone of the opposite sex, social status, or age demographic. The voice starts to speak of trips, jewelry, clothes, and other luxuries that were bought with the stolen credit card of the average Joe shown on the screen.

Identity theft is serious thing. So what happens when Satan slowly steals our identity, or even worse, the community’s? This snake I assure you is seeking for more than credit cards and stolen material amenities.

Spiritual Sixpack

2006-07-11T16:47:00.000-04:00

Have you ever thought about the concept of being fit spiritually? I read a book about a month or so ago titled, “The Naked Christian.”

I recall some parts of the book that have kept me thinking. During one chapter the writer speaks about our nakedness and what that looks like with God. This concept is introduced in Genesis in the Garden. So the question I pose is, how do you feel stripped (metaphorically) in the presence of God?

It’s obvious that there is no hiding from God, but our guilt can make us more than self- conscious. So now I wonder what it means to be spiritually fit. What would such a concept entail?

Most people think about or attempt to physically get fit or in shape as the warmer months arrive. People tend to do this to feel more comfortable and confident. I don’t like to use this example because normally we strive for these goals with some sense of vanity. But, I do see that preparing and aiming for a goal to strengthen our faith, knowledge, and purpose is more than healthy. We do need to strive for that spiritual six-pack. I feel that a confident Christian is a strong one, and one that will be prepared and fit when sharing their story.

Memoirs of a pastor

2006-07-05T13:25:00.000-04:00

I had the privilege this weekend to spend some time with my great uncle, David Baker. David is my grandfather’s older brother, they could not be more different. This forth of July I was hoping he would be there. (The 4th of July for our family is a reunion)

I made my rounds this holiday, catching up with all my relatives on the side of my mother. As I ventured around I saw a man sitting alone on a two-person swinging patio chair. He was smartly dressed and seemed to be listening and enjoying the surroundings. His hat added class, as I approached I was visited with a hello. As I looked I saw piercing blue eyes. I have not seen Uncle Dave in some time, but it surely did not keep me from remembering. As long as I’ve known him, I can honestly say I never took the chance to truly have a conversation. Through the years it was always limited to passing conversation. This year, I came there with the intent to speak to my great uncle. David is currently in his mid 90’s and I found out yesterday that he is nearly blind. After the polite hello he offered, I introduced myself. He could clearly not see me. He reached his arm out and gave me a shake of the hand. He stayed steadfast on the grip as if he was using his sense of touch to learn more about me. It was an excited motion. I filled my uncle in on where I was living, my job, and most importantly my church community. At this point I was standing. David at 90+ had my interest. I had questions lined up on the tip of my tongue. I held them intently. I decided to sit next to my uncle. I told him that I recently turned twenty-eight. He smiled, and said the he could relate, and mentioned that he just recently had his twenty-ninth birthday. After that comment I knew I was in for a treat. The blind man sat next to me as we shared a plate of crabmeat. We joked and when I thought the time was right I initiated with questions.

This man at his age had an amazing attention to detail with no hesitation. He claimed that his mind has been dampened since his blindness, which is scary. During our conversations he shared specifics on dates while never rounding up or down with time frames. I was amazed. We talked about his high points and some of the memorable events during his life in ministry. David served for sixty-seven years. Yes, holy wow… He talked about how at first he never wanted to go into ministry, though his father(my great grandfather) tried intently to get him to reconsider. My grandfather signed up for the marines and my uncle became a scholar. David through personal tragedy heard God speak to him as he began his journey into ministry. David ended up getting his doctrine, and as mentioned served for many years. Both of his sons also went into ministry and finished their post grad degrees. It is evident that there is a strong lineage of Methodist Ministers. This ninety-plus year old man had my interest for the period, over any game, movie, or book. He shared amazing life experiences and spiritual insight. The moment I had yesterday was one that I will never forget. David’s wife Florence is also living. He offered me a charming story on how they met and the struggles he had with her father (a Baptist minister) and the amazing way to their reconciliation. David shared some amazing stories of sermon series, where many gave their lives to the Lord or renewed their faith. He told of a calling to give a message at a Catholic Church. A priest and himself both felt this calling as they switched congregations for a day. Keep in mind back then which was many years ago this was unheard of. David Baker and I sat there for some time as I soaked up what he offered. This time again was more than I would have ever expected.

I would like to thank my uncle for being so open and taking the time to share some great stories. I am sure you have been an inspiration for many as the years have gone by, and after yesterday, I am included. Though I don’t like to set standards, I will say that in the brief time we spoke, you offered more than words. The way you carried yourself, your humor, humbleness, and ability to find the appropriate words. I learned and took much from our conversation. Much thanks great uncle.

One more

2006-06-28T13:45:00.000-04:00

Recently I have decided to start a new goal on getting back into shape. With all the recent changes and move, I have told myself that I just don’t have the time. I think this is a load of crap. I can make the time.

So I have decided to start running around my community everyday. I’m hoping that it will help build up my endurance, and hopefully give me more energy. I also hope it will be a way for me to possibly meet some of my new neighbors.

I sit here in the basement typing away, as I look at my gym set collect dust. I think it’s about time I finish organizing things and getting back into working out. I have never been a fan of working out, but with the mixture of running and resistance training, I think I can get back into the shape.

So I know it’s going to be hard for me to stay on track and push myself to that one more rep or one more step; so I need accountability. If you see me out, every once in a while, ask me how I’m doing with it.

Project 101

2006-06-22T22:21:00.000-04:00

Since the move from Owings Mills I have spent time doing and thinking of ways to improve my new place.

I now have a lawn mower and have to say that I truly enjoyed my first cutting. The mower has a bag, which rocks, but I can only imagine how different my perspective is going to be on the 101st mowing.

Slowly but surely I am getting things done and ideas are popping up into my head. What’s cool is that I couldn’t do this stuff at my old place. Now I have more flexibility.

Today after work I decided to get a couple projects out of the way. I have been gradually sanding the hand-rails on the front patio. After what I thought was a good enough sanding I laid some newspaper down. I emptied three cans of Rustoleum onto them. I’ll tell you, lay paper on the whole patio. Now, I have a nice imprint.

After that project I felt motivated to keep on going. I bought a 55 gallon fish tank a couple weekends ago and had yet to fill it. So a week ago I bought the sand, and tonight, here comes the water. I had everything prepared but forgot to test the hose. Oh fun, more to clean up. But now I have a tank that awaits its inhabitants.

I have gotten a few projects out of the way like these couple, but am clearly working with a work in progress. At this point I have much in the queue as ‘to do’ so I should be busy for some time. I am excited to see the finished project.

Relationships

2006-06-01T22:25:00.000-04:00

More often than not during the times out with my friends, somewhere, somehow, the topic of relationships occurs. Sentences start to ring out, Guys need to be more like this. There isn’t enough of this happening. What do you look for in a mate?

This week, Horizon Towson is starting a sermon series on ‘Relationships’. As the series approaches I see more and more how relevant it is to our age group, and the community. Our church encompasses as a majority, singleness. We have many still in college, possibly in relationships, some not. Others are out and have been single and still searching. Influxes of couples have recently just made the commitment to marriage or are engaged. No community is fortunate enough to be absent from the struggles of divorce. As this series starts and ends I am eager to see how God works through the message; I know many will relate, including myself.

Changes

2006-05-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

So much change and changes have and are occuring in my life. All I see for the better. Praise Him!

So in less than a week I will be moving. I have lived here amazingly more than two years. The stress I once had has subsided and only anxiousness resides.

I am amazed daily by the power of God. These past two weeks I have felt as though I am a new person. I can't explain how it happened but I have noticed the change, and it is a good feeling. I think a lot of it has spurred from my recent discussions on contentment.

So most of my nights I have been packing, sorting, and throwing a lot of things away. I am slowly seeing the place where I currently live become more and more barren, as it will await its new residents.

I am excited about the change of the new place that I will call 'home'. I will be a bit closer to my community and will be a lot closer to work. Honestly, the commute to my offices can clearly take a toll on me, so this move in that respect, will surely make life easier.

A lot of people are scared when they hear of change, but I can say I invite it wholeheartedly. Where can we grow without change?

"Lord Father, I kneel to You with thanks. I rejoice for what You provide and sometimes not. Thank you for the recent peace and perspective that You have laid on my heart. I understand little of what your purpose for me is, but I will surely continue to seek this out and live my life as closely as You did. Thank you again for this newness, and helping me with my pursuit to holiness."

Achievement

2006-05-24T21:18:00.000-04:00

I wanted to take the time to congratulate a few people on a true accomplishment. Some friends and a few of those in my family have just graduated.

Congratulations to a couple of friends in my link group, Sandy Grone and Melissa Anderson. Both just graduated with a Bachelors Degree in Education. They both will make great teachers.

My twin brother Brian just graduated with his Masters Degree in Electrical Engineering. His wife Carly, graduated with her Masters Degree in Psychology with a concentration on family counseling. Her sister Julie just graduated as well with her Masters Degree.

As many know it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to succeed in college and perform at the level these have. You all have done a great job. You should all be proud.

Congratulations again!

The Flash

2006-05-20T14:48:00.000-04:00

What happens to a person when they get behind a wheel? Wouldn’t you say we become different people?

A raging driver cuts you off, another doesn’t let you merge onto an interstate. The scow one gets when someone takes another’s parking spot.

Let’s face it, when we drive we choose the fact that we must trust those around us. So why do we despise them so much? It’s as if we are all on opposing teams.

Throwing out all the animosity and impatience of the common driver there is one act that I find more than interesting. On my route this morning, I noticed the on coming vehicle flash their lights. Instantly, I knew that there was a Police car up the road. I didn’t just have this car flash me, but others alike.

This got me thinking of how when the Law is involved the teams change. It becomes us vs. them. Drivers go from rude, to civil, to almost congenial.

Again, I find it interesting to see how others react individually when driving. A thanks goes out to the driver that gave me ‘The Flash.’

Note to the Entrepreneur

2006-05-19T10:17:00.000-04:00

My recommendation is to not rely so much on your sense of creativity and promotion. You are obviously successful, driving your new decked out seven hundred series BMW.

I just have one question, were you smoking something when you decided going with vanity plates that read, “WAHEED1”? Apparently!

Brother

2006-05-17T23:04:00.000-04:00

Today was a great day. I mean working the entire day and then getting stuck in 2 ½ hours worth of traffic wasn’t that great, but knowing that I was meeting my brother for dinner just made everything ok.

Lately, I have had so much on my mind. I’ve been thinking particularly a lot about things at church, my current link group, work issues, getting things in order for my move, and my family.

It’s strange, I feel like I’ve been taking a break from the general community and those people that in the past I would have hung out more regularly. I don’t understand but apart of me needs the alone time. But at the same time so much excitement and interest is surfacing on getting to know those in my link group, on a deeper level. I am so excited about the awesome things that are happening. God truly amazes me. I see my time investment leaning more in this area.

I showed my brother, Brian, my new place tonight. It was so cool to have him here tonight. I feel so blessed to have such a gifted individual as him as a brother, a twin. He is easily brilliant, but mostly influential to expanding others potential. The time with him tonight made me realize that I need to invest more of myself into my family. I realized that I may if I’m lucky, speak with him once a month. This is my twin. Anyways, I think I have more to learn about investing in those that I love. I feel sometimes we may take our loved ones for granted.

Family & Friends

2006-05-08T13:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it takes something small for us to realize our blessings. Lately, I’ve been thinking of how blessed I am to be surrounded by such an amazing support system.

Special thanks to the following:

Dad- For the many things you’ve taught me and your amazing ability to always put others before yourself.
Mom- For your understanding and nurturing gift.
Brother- For your prayers, no words on how glad I am that they were answered.
Sister-For showing me the value of just being yourself.
Cousin- For igniting fire in everyone around you with new passion for the Lord.
Dave C- Showing me qualities of a shepherd
Mark S- Showing me qualities of a teacher
Paul- Dealing with and encouraging
Shannon- Showing me a rare compassion for others
Jenn- Giving me a different view of the importance to detail
Tronster- For modeling faithfulness and not taking the easy way out
Lydia- Finding something fun in everything you do
Aaron- Showing selflessness
Sandy- Showing that hard work and dedication pay off. Your growth is refreshing.
Mary- Continually inspiring with how much you have connected and grown within the community.
Sarah Lynn- Showing faithfulness, growth, and willingness to take risk.
Tali- Ability to back the underdog.
Rebecca- defining great hospitality and friendship.
Pat- For the newness and friendship that you bring to the community.
Link Group- Blessed to be apart of a group that is so diverse and at the same time open. We have come along way and I truly value the relationships that I have made and those to come.
Community- I feel so blessed to have connected with so many true people as the individuals that I have met through Grace, Central Pres., and Horizon.

I can honestly say that the people around me have made me a better person and with that I thank.

Utopian Community

2006-04-28T12:37:00.000-04:00

I have a dream. I am debating if it is unrealistic for today’s American culture and time, but it surely is something I wish for. I have been thinking more about community and what that may look like in the Church.

Though I feel that there is surely more of a sense of community and unity in the church, than let’s say your neighborhood; I still see it lacking.

What would it look like to have the same unity and sense of community during the days where people ate, and raised barns together? This society seemed to really weigh in on everyone as an integral part working together and profiting as one. We have to be realistic and take into account the different variables such as population and logistics. I honestly would say that I feel that even so; a small sect of people within an organization such as a church community, even today, can come close to the days where people worked together as one.

Unfortunately, I don’t see this happening. I think a lot of it relates to the fact that we are so involved with growing the church. We set goals but possibly don’t follow through. The problem which lies is that not one person nor ten can make the community ‘Utopian’, or lack of a better term, perfectly unified. It takes a piece of everyone, knowing that it is their community, their church, realizing that what they may add or offer affects the entire group.

I pray for a stronger sense of community and unity among not only my church, but also others alike; that seek to spread God’s glory.

The Crew

2006-04-21T14:23:00.000-04:00

A group of us have been meeting once every other month to hang out and catch up. This group of friends are folks that I spent time with as neighbors in college. We all could not be more different.

The Artist, Marketing consultant, Realtor, Salesman, and a Federal Cellular Consultant. So what do we have in common? We all have great relationships with one another. I’ve known these friends for more than eight years. We have enjoyed so many memories in the past. Now, we have started to hang out again.

After a great time during the day at Camden Yards, I met up with all of them at ‘Don Pablos’ for happy hour. Even though we meet once every two months, it gives us tons to talk about. Usually were talking about relationships, old times, or for me yesterday, a conversation on Religion.

Last night coincidently I ran into a familiar person. It was another neighbor from our college days that lived right next to us. I haven’t seen her in six years. This meeting got me thinking. How cool would it be to slowly make our bi-monthly meetings into network meetings. What would it look like for us to invite other Salisbury grads to our group?

I don’t know what is in store for our group, a k a ‘The Crew’. But I will say that I look forward to the times together. If at some point we recruit more fellow alumni or keep it to our elite few, we will surely be consumed with laughs and good times. Here’s one for my fellow ‘Ex-Monkey Hut’ dwellers!

Spring Foward

2006-04-17T12:25:00.000-04:00

I cannot even begin to tell you how much I enjoy the season of spring. There is no question that I would say it is easily my most favorite season. When I think of Spring, I think of new beginnings, barbeques, and the smell of freshly cut grass. It is a time where the weather progresses to warm up and new life sprouts and blooms.

This year I noticed the time change more than ever. The fact that we have light longer is such a blessing to me. Normally after a long day at work I get to enjoy the sun setting on my commute home. Around this time and time to come I have been enjoying nature’s light source longer.

What a great time of year; recently I have felt some parallels to the changing season and the way I have recently been seeing things. So strange to not notice things in the past that may have been dormant, but now seem to be more lively. It’s different in a good way. I am curious to see what this season has in store for me this year.

Payoff

2006-04-16T23:24:00.000-04:00

Today I still have been having this new constant strain and or pessimistic feeling holding me back. Ever since I was a kid I have wanted to own my own business, or the aspirations be someone important. These past couple years I have gotten glimpses of what this may look like, but haven’t yet pieced them together. I guess ultimately I seek to be financially stable so I can be in the position to properly support a future family. Now, I still seek this but want this goal to mirror God’s calling for me. What I have taken from this so far, is investing. I purchased my house a little over two years ago and now feel I need to be pursuing more.

A couple days ago I wrote my final check for my student loans. I never expected to have already been in the position to payoff my entire undergrad, and the post grad loans. Friday, I sold my car and had the ability to completely pay off that liability.

What this has told me is that the timing could not be better to take a risk. My good friend and realtor called me up the other day. A while back, I specifically told him that I currently wasn’t actively pursuing another real estate investment, but if he found something spectacular to let me know. Guess what, he found something. I have looked at many homes with him, and liked a few. Shoot I even put an offer in on one, but this one is the best yet. The scary part for me is that I know that if I want the place, it’s mine. My friend happens to be the listing agent, so the ball is totally in my court.

Now the pressure and reluctance continues to set in. I don’t get why I am timid about this decision. I just turned twenty eight years old, and am in the financial position to take a risk. For once I am a little scared. There is something truly humbling about seeing the true value loan estimate over thirty years on a mortgage. Now I may be trying two.

Congratulations!

2006-04-12T10:39:00.000-04:00

Mark & Missy Stephenson

Ironing Warrior

2006-03-28T12:17:00.000-05:00

Meticulous (mu'tikyulus) - [adj] marked by extreme care in treatment of details

Have you ever met a person so involved with the pursuit of details? I have a fair amount of friends/family and have started to learn their habits. Some of them you could consider flat out lazy, others may take some appreciation on the steps they make, and lastly there is this group that is over-and-beyond dogmatic and almost spiritual when it comes to organization and attention to detail.

As a child, I can remember my grandmother and the process she would take when ironing her clothes. Every collar would be pressed, every pocket taunt. This woman would arrange her wardrobe by color, season, and have a proper drawer or section deemed for them. One day I recall walking in as she ironed and was almost befuddled at what I saw. This tidy and meticulous woman was ironing her socks.

The other day, I noticed something small that a friend had made to make their life easier. The attention to detail and arrangement of focal points was flat out impressive. In the past I wondered why certain people took the extra time to go above and beyond on even the smallest things. It made me think.

Should we compromise on detail and the input we do on even the small things, merely because of the amount of time we think we have? I think the majority of people even I, get to a point where we say to ourselves, “that’s good enough.” But is it?

I am not saying we all should start ironing our socks. Shoot, apart of me tells myself that old Granny used to do that because she didn’t know how to use the dryer. Not likely…

I just think we neglect the details sometimes and see that much of our success and happiness starts with the tiniest things.

I commend those that go the extra mile, the so called ‘Ironing Warrior’.

"What If"

2006-03-22T10:23:00.000-05:00

Dear Friend,

What if you're right
He was just another nice guy
What if you're right
What if it's true
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true

What if He takes His place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love, and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then

But what if you're wrong
What if there's more What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for
What if you jump
Just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise
What if He's more than enough
What if it's love

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig
What if you find A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore that must be told
And retold

'Cause you've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land
For so long
But what if you're wrong

What if you jump
Just close your eyes
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise
What if He's more than enough

What if it's love

-Nordeman

New Day

2006-03-20T16:58:00.000-05:00

These past couple months have been a little wearing on me. It’s strange, it’s as if I have been just collecting more weight each day. It’s been a culmination of work and other things. I guess I was losing focus; I literally could feel the stress.

Yesterday, I woke up and felt a little differently. I felt a sense of calmness and felt a little lighter. I guess sometimes we get so wrapped up on what is going around us, that we let all the responsibilities control us. I hope that this feeling of this new day is not temporary.

“Lord Father, I thank you for peace, and ease. Thank you for helping clear my sight and giving me new breath. Please continue to show me all the beauty in life. I seek Your will and thank You for everything You provide.”

Intensity

2006-03-02T23:04:00.000-05:00

Tonight I logged into my Myspace account and was shocked. I received a friend request from one of my favorite authors, Dean Koontz. At first I was a little befuddled, but quickly realized who it was. I just thought it was neat and wanted to share. If you have never read any of his books let me know. I'll let you borrow some. He has a unique writing style that really draws the reader in, with at times intense imagery and wonderful character development.

Thanks Dean, for the add!

Hometown

2006-03-01T21:39:00.000-05:00

Flashbacks of ones youth, fond family memories, foolish childhood follies, and forgotten friendships. Sometimes I try to think of what ‘Hometown’ means to me. Is it simply the place where you grow up, or maybe where one primarily resides? I think there is more to it. There is something about the feeling you get when you say, “I’m going home.”

Last weekend I had the chance to go visit the small town of Salisbury, my hometown. I do not frequent this area as much as I would like, but by doing this, I get to be surprised every time on ‘what’s new in town.’ My best friend from high school was also in town for the weekend. He brought his girlfriend and it was interesting to share some of the old stories. What good times, and crazy things we got into; those were the good ole’ days.

Pretty much my entire intermediate family lives in this town, so this surely makes it convenient when I plan to visit the family.

Friday night, my twin brother, best friend and his girl friend, and I all went out to the local pub/restaurant. In Salisbury, there are not too many places to go out. One nice thing about this, is the fact, that you normally will see familiar faces. And we did see them. I ran into an old neighbor that I hadn’t talked to in four years; some how I find it strange how one can get so far removed so quickly.

Nearly ten years ago, I graduated high school in this small town. It amazes me how fast time flies. Strangely I feel there is somewhat of a dichotomy between the days there in my hometown to where I have currently settled in. I don’t know what that means, but I just feel so much has changed since I moved away. Not so much the town, but me.

One thing I do know is that there is something about this place that draws me in. I don’t know if it is the comfort of family, or just the familiarity of the area. I have come to the conclusion that I may never reside there again, but can not shake the idea that there will always be something about my hometown in Salisbury, that I call home.

(((Tuned)))

2006-02-21T10:17:00.000-05:00

With the turn of a tuning peg, I was on my way to tuning my guitar. For anyone that plays, they understand that this process is tedious and relies on every string to be tuned together in all the same key. Normally, I use an electronic tuner, but due to dead batteries; I had to rely on my ear. My guitar has not been played in some time and it was extremely out of tune, so I expected a challenge. After twenty long minutes I finally brought the strings into tune.

So I was thinking, can we parallel tuning an instrument, to tuning our relationship with God? When tuning my guitar, I listened to certain specific notes on each string until they matched the correct standard pitch. After I finished, I started to think of us as Christians and the idea that we are God’s instruments. When even one string is not in consonance with the next, it will be out of harmony and sound dissonant. This made me think as to what we should be listening for when working on ourselves.

If we are God’s instruments how can we get and stay in tune? Hopefully our sound is harmonious to God. My thoughts would be; as we become more holy and Christ-like, we are most effective in furthering His kingdom. And relationally, the closer our relationship with Christ, the more tuned in we are to God, and the purpose He sets before us.

Even though I am metaphorically comparing us to musical instruments I see parallels as to how methodical we must be to ensure our character and way of living. I know personally I fall very short, but I do realize as with a guitar; the slightest turn of a peg and the whole instrument will sound off. I do not know if it takes more quiet times, memorizing scripture, fellowshipping frequently, or maybe serving others to help us in our quest to be God pleasing instruments. I do think it is an interesting thought, and know that individually it is something I want to strive for. I might not know exactly what that may look like, but as in the old cliché ‘there’s always room for improvement’. Especially when it is for God.

So keep an ear open and listen, stay tuned for God!

"It's just a matter of time"

2006-02-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

Fail

Wronged

Lost

Hate

Sin

~

“11 And do this, understanding the present time. The hour has come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.” - Romans 13: 11-12

Musical Chairs

2006-01-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

I have been thinking a lot lately on my life and where I am, versus where I have been. Have you ever wondered about where you are going to be in a month, year, or decade? When I say this I am not talking specifically about one area of our lives, but in everything we do.

I was at work yesterday working diligently. I left my desk to return and thought to myself, I wonder how many people have called this their desk. I could not even tell you who worked there before me. This made me wonder. Later I was sitting on my floor in my room watching television and thought, I bet others have sat in that very exact spot, maybe even changing the channel. Have you ever thought about who may proceed you or vice versa?

At the office my colleagues on occasion will talk from time-to-time about a circumstance when an ex-employee did this, or worked in this manner. Usually, it will be something like a very memorable moment or a distinctive mannerism. The more I think about it, I simply wonder if I may leave an impression, and more specifically, what kind of impression do I want to leave? Hopefully at work it will involve a hard work ethic and success, but what about the other areas in our lives?

I am currently sitting in a chair typing away at ‘Starbucks’. I can only imagine today how many people will fill this seat. Will they be reading, writing, conversing, or relaxing- who knows… But I can say that I am occupying this seat right now. It is my time.

It is strange, whether we have these moments or gather these thoughts from sitting on an old rickety dock, a walk on a secluded beach, a tour of a historic building, or even as simple as your work place. It makes us realize that we are constantly moving. It is interesting to think that so many people from different cultures, areas, and time periods have some kind of connection merely on where they have been.

So is our life a constant cycle of musical chairs, moving from one chair to the next, just waiting for the music to stop? What impression during those periods do we leave for the next? I ponder.

Xmas Traditions

2005-12-29T18:33:00.000-05:00

Mistletoe, Christmas lights, family gatherings, caroling, a Christmas church service, that crazy aunt, and gift exchanges. Christmas 2005 has past as each year they do, so what made Christmas for you this year?

Christmas is a time of year that usually is defined by new and old tradition. What happens or may not happen may determine whether or not one has a good Christmas. This at least seems to be the case for me.

Last Friday was my first day of vacation. I headed down to my hometown Salisbury, Maryland. As I drove up the driveway I was excited to get my family time fill. The Christmas holiday time at the Banks’ house has a few things to expect. Every year our family from my mother’s side gets together on Christmas Eve and we have a light dinner followed by a gift exchange. Prior to the gift exchange it is tradition that the family sits around while each member tells the eldest (my grandfather- our sudo Santa Claus) what we wish to get for Christmas. So in order from youngest to oldest, one by one, we reveal our interests for the year. The great thing is that we videotape this, so it puts everyone on the spot. This used to be a little embarrassing growing up, but now a Christmas without it would just not be Christmas.

Christmas day starts with a nice breakfast. Later in the day we usually get together to exchange gifts followed by dinner. Overall it’s a day for the family to be together. I truly value Christmas for the family time and tradition. So tell me, what are some of your family's Christmas traditions?

Barbie Doll

2005-12-17T17:55:00.000-05:00

A glance and then my attention was had. Have you ever noticed someone, that by sight your attention was instantly had? This past Thursday I was having a dinner with vendors and colleagues, and within moments noticed two women in the restaurant. Keep in mind this was a very highly rated restaurant on the water in Annapolis. The type of people this place attracts are very well off and give a polished persona. This woman physically attracted every ones attention. After our dinner a couple of us invited the two ladies to join us at the bar.

Her words were heard and we all were individually and consciously critiquing her. I mean when you meet someone that just has that much of a physical appeal you wonder, ‘what is it about her’in my case? She carried herself very well and was drinking a great choice of wine. You could tell an outing like this, at a nice venue as this, for her was routine. The more we chatted the more we realized she had to be older, but she looked too flawless to be that mature physically. This is when I realized.

The smile too perfect, the skin too smooth, the body… well you get my point. I had realized that the same girl that caught the attention of nearly every male and mostly every female may have had a little help. Why was this person so attractive to the eye? I mean the more she spoke the more superficial she sounded. ‘Barbie’ was seeking an audience. I guess I wonder at what extreme do we cave into the pressures of our culture. I understand that it is more demanding on women, but where do we as a society, cross the line?

Thirty minutes after the conversation began, my thoughts moved from how beautiful she was, to the many ways she didn’t appeal to me. Strange, but true, I guess it is true that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

'Second Hand'

2005-12-15T16:03:00.000-05:00

My week so far has entailed vendor entertainment, last minute bids, and a company car. During the end of the year our vendors love to wine and dine their key customers or distributors. My company Graybar just happens to be one of the largest distributors. What that means is that we sell a lot of their crap! Last night we went to a nice restaurant in Crofton. The highlight of the night was that I got carded! One of the younger employees got carded as well and they were not happy about it. Anymore I find myself not minding it at all. I find these events not as appealing as when I first started in the industry. It’s more of the vendors trying to pry information about business and heavy drinking. Since I don’t drink that much anymore, this is no longer my idea of fun. I believe all the smoke in the bar is also one of the main reasons I don’t prefer these activities. I can’t stand smoke and cigar smoke is even worse.

Tonight, another vendor is taking the company out to ‘The Chart House’ in Annapolis. I am excited about this. From my understanding this restaurant is a classy place and I will be eating a tender Filet Mignon.

This week for some reason has been full of last minute bids. Work normally is a little more predictable, but so far we have been under the gun to quote these projects. It’s a great thing that I have more than a weeks vacation coming up shortly!

Yesterday I picked up my company car. It is not the sharpest or coolest car on the road, but it is a free ride so I can’t complain. This means I may be selling my car shortly, but not sure yet. The only problem I have with the Taurus is that the last salesman was a smoker. Man, do I hate cigarette smoke! It’s hard to think of a more unattractive thing that is always followed by an awful smell.

Guilt in the Wind

2005-12-08T22:41:00.000-05:00

This past Link Group we discussed the idea of Guilt and Regret. Since then, I have attempted to find areas in my life where I may have or currently feel guilt. Guilt is in essence a disturbance in ones conscience. Today I will share a glimpse into my past. During my college days I was hardly living a Godly life, in fact I did my best to avoid anything related to or involved with such a thing. My life at the time was a journey of decadence and living life for the next thrill, or high. Roughly nine years ago I can remember one specific night where my night went from euphoric to nearly over. Sadly, this is just one example, when as to I have had a couple near falls. Recently, I found a letter I wrote and saved from this night. I honestly believed that during this night, that these would be my last words. I still find them curiously interesting.

_______________________________________________________

Wind

On this Thursday morning; early morning at that, by cause of late nights. The feeling is very nice but weird, scary weird. I am different, almost… I feel heavenly aspects and evil aspects. The days are bright. Then other days are dim and hard. I am envisioning great deals of patient moving moods of mud and soft sand. I see dark in the background and us; when we were young but aged boys, and a sweet smiley sister. But this family’s eyes were all serious and stern, not harsh enough to throw an idea of mean or sad. We were there, that in what I saw was the mother, sound and just a perfect mother. The father was in the back behind us, always protecting us from evil and showed me why love is the strongest power. It is what life should be like, and that its passion to make smiles and good feelings to be passed and shared. I love my family so much, they are who made me. They made a guy who was a jerk , but also a real gentleman in the other. I have matured like increasing pieces of this amount of promise. I stood strong to challenges. As I find a way to be different, I need to change my path, it is not right and my talents should be to help others find this pure power. I am not in a stable condition. I am Jon in a different way. This way shows futuristic situations. Time travel Brian that is what it all is about baby… This is very different right now: I am fighting it, and I have to resist. I can’t fold, I need sun and white bright smiles of a happy stay or state. Both pose serious intentions in what I so subconsciously and consciously am saying. Or maybe I like pizza, doughnuts, not bagels, I would love a candy bar or gummy worms. Colored rocks… I see things serious and more efficient, and a smart way of doing. Loops lay are a cool thing. I love the beach, love the sun, and Love JESUS. I feel your power! “My Sweet Lord” I love you. ~Jon

PS. I AM EATING CRACKERS RIGHT NOW…

______________________________________________________

Today, I read this and cannot think of any reason to feel guilt or shame. If anything I should think I was totally whacked! But honestly I will say that I am truly thankful that I lived through these times. This just happened to be one of the many obstacles that may have helped me understand that there was more beauty in life than I could see. Events like these just make it more evident to me that God is using and working in my life. Without Him I would not be here. I only hope that I can take any guilt that I may have and throw it to the wind.

“Lord, God. I thank you for life and miracles. I ask you to continue to show me understanding and my purpose. Through You I know we have hope, and we all are forgiven. Please continue to make this apparent to me even during those tough times when we feel like failures. May I continue to walk towards You and away from the past. With this I pray”-Amen

Vacation & Thanksgiving

2005-11-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

Today is my first day back to work since my time off. The vacation was more time away from work, with family and friends.

Last week was great. I played golf, had some great conversations with friends. Enjoyed the church Thanksgiving gathering. Spent time home with my family. Helped decorate the Christmas tree for the first time in many years, and ate tons of food.

I am thankful for so much, some of which is listed below:

Health
Great family
Stellar friends
Horizon
My Link Group
My Job

God has truly blessed me with what has come my way. I hope I can continue to see the positives and the blessings He provides.

“Father God, thank you for the gift of life and what You provide. I cannot thank You enough for your unending grace and the blessings. In your name – Jesus Christ.“Amen

Fidelity

2005-11-17T17:38:00.000-05:00

I wonder how many know the meaning of the word fidelity. I would suspect most are more aware of the word infidelity. Recently, I heard a message that carried much weight. The overall point was that we are called to stay faithful in life and in death.

The US Marines have a motto, “Semper Phi!” I think we as Christians need to be as passionate and faithful as this group. The Latin word Semper Fidelis means “always faithful.”

Christ tells us to always stay faithful through life and death, for He will be our crown of life. Sometimes I wonder when the rubber meets the road whether we as Christians know the importance of this. I mean are we hypocrites?

Paul and the apostles showed us even through the beatings, tortures, and finally death that they were not going to break their trust in God and faith. Recently I found out that more Christians have died in the twentieth century for believing than in any other century.

There was a case during the cold war when four Russian soldiers were told to have entered a church one Sunday morning with machine guns. Two of the soldiers shut the doors while the other two went to the front of the church. One of the officers yelled, “you Christians are a smudge on our society and your lives are meaningless!” “We are here to rid you from our country for you are dragging us down.” The officers, then told the congregation that they were going to kill every Christian sitting in the room. They then told the group of those that weren’t Christians, that they were able to get up and leave the Church. One third of the group got up and left. The rest of the congregation sat there and the soldiers shut the doors and went back to the front. One then said, “now that all the hypocrites are out, let’s have service!” This is most likely a fictitious story but it still makes me think. Would I stay seated under those circumstances? Would you? It is truly hard to say but I would hope I would.

The fidelity or faithfulness of each of us is to be unending. Let us hold the same motto of the Marines, and have the faith of these martyrs.

Lord, Father, I praise You for the promises You give us. I pray that we live our lives in complete faithfulness even during the trying times. Father, You are our crown of Life and I hope that we are continually encouraged to pursue You till our end.

Does a bear crap in the woods?

2005-11-14T11:46:00.000-05:00

There is something special and lasting about spending time with friends in the wilderness- sharing stories, laughs, and recycled chili dogs. A group of us ventured to Greenridge State park this weekend to camp out under the stars. During the day we relaxed, in the evening we relaxed, and at night we relaxed. Heck, the whole time was just relaxing. What is it about leaving our luxuries behind and trying to do what we call, “roughing in it” that makes us seem to let go? We tend to say, “it’s great to get away!”

What are we getting away from? Is there a point where the grid is that bad, that shoveling a hole in the ground to take a dump becomes appealing? It’s also fairly obvious that distractions play a huge role in us wanting to have time away. During the whole time I received no phone calls, did not have to deal with the snooze button, and worried little about traffic patterns. I sat there laid back in my chair warming my cold feet with fire, thinking, “wow, this is great.”

But as rhetorical as the question of Does a bear crap in the woods? Equally as obvious is the fact that any day or break from work is a pleasant one. The time outdoors with my friends this weekend over the fire, was more than pleasant. I just want to thank all for sharing the moment.

Nutmeg

2005-11-04T09:01:00.000-05:00

Well, the fall season is here and what does that mean? Well it is different for all but specifically for fifteen individuals it is the start of a new season. Last year Horizon Church had it's very own coed indoor soccer team. Since then the interest has remained and we are all on the ball to go play again! As sudo coach of the team I am excited to see how the season goes. I expect good things and fun times. This year some changes on the squad have occurred and we have some new faces. One included is a friend of mine from work, another, a friend from another Horizonite. It is just great that the sport and team has helped Horizon reach out.

This past Wednesday I decided to play some pick up soccer. It was a three hour soccer-thon. It was a good thing we had plenty of subs. This was the first time I had been on a field in some time and the players out there were mostly men and a higher caliber at that. While I was out there I watched these old and new ballers and how they chose to maneuver around defenders or contain. This was surely more high paced than any of the games we will face on Horizon's coed B squad, but it is important to know the basics.

One move that stands out the most that gets many shouts is the "nutmeg." And for those that aren't familiar, it is not a hard aromatic seed used and ground as a spice. This is a move that takes precision and skill sometimes to complete. The nutmeg basically is a move that alleviates the problem of trying to go around the defender. It takes quite a bit of control and the ability to be aware of the opponents balance. With good timing the ball will be rolling through your opponents legs and you on your way down the field. Don't misunderstand me, this move is not the lead to move and honestly can be extremely difficult to pull off. I mean come on, how embarrassing would it be if a player is heading your way and pushes the ball through your legs. Because of this most defenders are looking for this to prevent the embarrassment.

So after playing on Wednesday I thought more about the nutmeg and other soccer moves. Does a team need fancy foot work to win? The more I thought about it, I came to the understanding, no. I mean sure it helps, and if you know a little about soccer moves its easier to defend them. But what I see the strength of our soccer team will be to play more as a team. To fundamentally contain opponents. I will say it now, our team is not deep with amazing talent, but I do think we have the potential to win some games. Some of our gracious fans almost deemed the team, the soccer version of "the bad news bears." My aim this season is to give these fans a couple of wins. But regardless we will surely give them some entertainment. And who knows they may see a few nutmegs or in our teams case, a lot.

Sister

2005-10-24T21:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Chris, I hope you had a wonderful day. I'm sorry I couldn't be apart of it and miss you dearly. We will have to hang out the next time i'm in town! Take care Sister.

eUnharmony

2005-10-24T16:12:00.000-04:00

Within many of the social circles that I tread, a common and typical theme that comes up are words and phrases like “what does it mean to date?” “what are women seeking?” “what are men seeking?” This truly makes sense since the majority of our community is single. Most would agree it is by human nature that we seek a companion. But the more I think about it, this process must differ from person to person. Some tend to be the type that just can’t be out of a relationship, others are so independent that they are not comfortable in them, and then there is a group that just is in limbo. What is that other group?

We live in a society where value on relationships has been watered down. We feel that we need to find the right person by taking on the grueling process and expense of what we call dating. Does this always have to be so difficult? I think not. Sometimes I wonder though if we as Christians fall into the same trap that the secular dating world does. And heck, what’s the difference? Besides the physical intimacy and sex of course. I mean, unfortunately when people can’t find the results they seek, they tend to go with what others say as fact. Frankly, what I feel, and it’s all just my opinion, is that we depend too much on what these Christians authors like “Ludy” and “Harris” write about relationships. Don’t get me wrong, I truly feel there are some points that others make that are valid and wise. But crap, why don’t we go out on a limb and take a chance on what our gut is saying?

Some friends of mine have recently tried out some online dating services. The more I think about it makes me wonder. God put us on this planet and has blessed man with woman and vice versa. God provided for man. Where do we draw the line to where we seek out who God has planned for us individually, and letting God work this person into our lives?

So I wonder, this limbo I mentioned before. It may sound strange, but how true could it be? Do we not engage in relationships because we are scared they will succeed? Most would say they fear failure, but have you every feared success? I know i’ve thought about it and I guess others may too, who knows? But to succeed in a relationship that wasn’t the person God planned for you. Is this possible? A successful loving relationship and not be in God’s plan? I ponder…

I write this mostly on an entertainment value, but I am curious what others may think. Can we be so eager about getting into a relationship that we walk past the true one?Is there such a thing? Food for thought!

Impressions

2005-09-21T09:57:00.000-04:00

Lately I have been thinking about an issue that I can not really grasp. Even though I surround myself with many Christians, I do come in contact with more that aren't. So all these questions have started to pop up in my head. Questions that I would love to ask, but would not be appropriate in certain circumstances such as work.

What is your impression of Church?
Do you view that all church services are similiar?
What keeps you from going?

I have also started having some questions for those that are Christians and church goers.

What do you enjoy about your church?
What part of the service do like the least?
What could be added to make it better?

I now go beyond other church communities and wonder about Horizon. The same questions can be asked.

What do you like the most about Horizon?
What do you like the least?
Where do you feel Horizon needs to improve?

These are just a few questions lately that have come to mind. The more I communicate with those in or out of my Christian network, the more I wonder what makes it work for us individually. I understand that God plays a huge role in this, but there has to be more.

Romans 15:4-6

2005-09-16T12:10:00.000-04:00

4For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

5May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus,

6so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ.

New Venture

2005-09-08T23:52:00.000-04:00

Today I spent hours with an agent and found this gem in Towson. I ended up putting a contract on the house. I will know in a couple days whether I am the new proud owner. I am pretty excited about this new venture, but I don't want to get too excited. It is not a sure deal. I will keep you all updated, but if possible keep me in your prayers.

-Banks

One Year: Appreciation

2005-09-03T13:15:00.000-04:00

Today marks one year since my first blog entry. A lot has happened in this past year and I thank all that have tuned in. It has been fun throwing some thoughts together and sharing. My first post was giving shouts of appreciation. I think it is only appropriate to throw out some more.

Readers: Thanks for reading some of the impactiful moments of my life this year.
Horizon: I feel blessed to be apart of such an amazing community of brothers/sisters.
Dave C: Thanks for being you, and showing strength during trying times.
Mark S: Thanks for being a leader among leaders.
Jenn S: Thanks for having the wellfare of the community always in mind.
Dave R: Being real
Tronster: Continuing to say "No" if it isn't something you believe. Not agreeing to agree.
Lydia: Showing me geeks can be cool. :-)
Rebecca M: Being a sport, when YOUR team lost to MINE. :-)
Tali: Backing me, when I am surrounded by so many that mock.
Scott J: Jumping in head first into this community and contributing so much.
Aaron: Bringing your talents to this community.
Eli: Thanks for stepping up and helping out.
Jeff M: For keeping the line on OM and Towson.

The list could go on... Some quick shout outs to Coach Sam, Mary T, Sarah Lynn, Sean N., Dan & Alicia, my link group!, Jimi & Charlie, Katie, JessieLynn, Shannon, Ashley J., Joel, Chad, Darcy-Dave, Amber, Megan, Rachel, Nolan, and everyone else!

Battle of the Beltways

2005-09-02T09:32:00.000-04:00

Rivalries rock, and last nights game was no exception. The Baltimore Ravens and the Washington Redskins faced off in a preseason battle. The night was highly anticipated all week. We as people sometimes have an event coming up or that we are counting on, and this was mine. Thanks to my friends Mr. Scott Jenkins and Rebecca Miller for buying the tickets and inviting me to come.

The adventure started with me taking the light rail. Holy wow... It's amazing the type of people you will see or meet on that form of transportation. After the ride into Baltimore, Miller and I then had to find each other. Think of unbearable loud noises. Every step, was done carefully as to not run into anyone. The sounds in the background of train horns, street peddlers, and drunk tail-gaters made Miller and I's phone conversation almost impossible. Though we finally met up, and it was time to start the night!

We made it up to the top level where our seats were and after gathering some refreshments, I headed to our seats. Miller went to grab some dough, so I was the first to locate our spot. The first thing I notice are these very loud and at the time (prior to kick off) slightly intoxicated Ravens fans. A smile started to form on my face, because I knew that the night would be full of words. Miller finally made it to the nose-bleeds, and just in time for kick off.

What a beautiful night for a game. The view was great, the company great, and both of our favorite teams battling it out. Miller was dressed to the nines with her Redskins colors shown and fully supported, finished off tremendously with her trademark moccasins, while I cheered with a quite nice Ravens jersey. So the game was on! Miller and the Redskins versus Banks and the Ravens.

The game started out slow but it gave us time to catch up. I thought about it later and realized we haven't hung out much since soccer. For those who don't know, Miller was Horizon's star sweeper. And then it happened... the stadium, me, and the outspoken fans in front of us, had to wince as the Redskins scored the first points of the game. Miller had a great time making it well known who she was rooting for. Back and forth Miller and the burley Baltimore boys went. Miller held her own well, though her team was winning.

Quarters went by and the game was still led by the other local team, the Redskins. The excitement of the game surfaced at the end of the third quarter and final quarter. The Ravens were on the hunt and pecked away at the deficit. I could see Rebecca getting a little unsure of her team as she knew very well the game was very much alive for the opposing team. With minutes left in the final quarter the Ravens found a receiver in the end zone to take their first lead of the game. The crowd and I jumped out of our seats; we could smell victory. This left the Redskins little time to mount a drive to win or tie. But as sure as I sit here, they did. They finished the final seconds of the game with a game-tieing field goal. We were onto OT(overtime).

The Ravens won the coin toss and would receive the ball. This luck of the draw was what they needed. They capitalized on a play and then hit a receiver for the game winning touch down.
BAM... It happened so fast, and the Ravens won the battle. Overall it was such a great time, even if my team had lost, it would have rocked. Thanks Miller for the invite and being an awesome sport. I totally enjoyed hanging out and the conversations. You rock! But never forget who won. :-)

Community

2005-08-25T09:12:00.000-04:00

I have been apart of the Horizon community since January 2004. Lately, I have been thinking more about community and what it means to be apart of it. So I ask, what do you think community means? Does this differ from those around you?

What I have noticed since I have been here is something unique. Typically, people hang and connect with those with similar interests. Though this has played somewhat of a role, I have noticed diverse groups connecting. I have to attest that I have checked out a couple or a few different churches. I think they all are great in there own way, but the more I become apart of the Horizon community and connect with others, I see this uniqueness compounded.

So why is Horizon different, or why may it be more apparent to me at this church? On Tuesday all the Link Groups (church small groups) from Towson got together to fellowship as one. As I scanned the rooms I saw interactions and conversations from all types of people. To give you an idea, this room was filled with non-Christian, Christian, married, single, analytical, jokester, sports-minded, artistic, and musical. I know that it is typical to see these segments in other communities, but we seem to wear it on our shirts. The coolest thing is that we almost encourage it. I mean come on; the place we met at has been deemed, “The Geek House." Trust me, it is that name for good reason. I believe this is one of reasons diversity works here. We accept you for who you are. This is not only embedded in the leadership, and staff, but others alike.

Despite the fact that the church has had its ups-and-downs, I see the growth within the community growing in amazing ways. Link Groups are a testament to that. One friend mentioned and it stuck that to build muscle you have to break it down so it can heal and grow. As of late in the community, I see this more true than ever. During my first job out of college, I was reminded to not see a problem as deterrent, but to see it as an opportunity.

Whether the connections of Horizon have derived from the hearts of the people, or the divine plan for this community, I see changes and growth in people in ways that not one person could make.

"Lord, Father. You tell us, that when two or more come together in Your name, You are there with them. Father continue to be among us Lord. Continue to help us connect with the lost and help us keep close guard on one another. Let us continue to seek strength from You Lord, and to see adversity as opportunity. You are my God, my Lord, my Father, and with that I thank." Amen

The O.C.

2005-08-15T15:59:00.000-04:00

A vacation even though brief can be totally and truly be reviving. This past weekend a few of us headed to the beach. The time was filled with family time, tons of sand, video games, waves, ice cream, great laughs, picturesque venues, putt-putt golf, and very hot weather.

During the time at the beach we had numerous friends and folks come and go. Overall, the time spent was great. Almost all the conversations either started or ended with laughs. It was surely relaxing. The three-day excursion was totally what I needed. I can’t wait until I can get in a whole week!

"Blades of Glory"

2005-08-01T09:10:00.000-04:00

The air clean, the grass so green, the sight…amazing. I find that in most circumstances we all tend in some way find God’s creation of nature in its pure and unscathed form as glorifying. I mean glorifying in the sense of seeing it as a splendor, and or possible glimpse of God’s power revealed. Some of us got to see some of this kind of talk at Greenridge a few weeks ago. After this past Friday I wondered, do we as people take away or add to our natural surroundings as we alter them?

On Friday, I had the opportunity to not only witness but to be apart of nature altered in a way that most would appreciate, including the novice, and professional. The morning was slightly humid with a slight sense or hint of greatness lurking behind. As I stepped into my car and started this day, I realized I was in for a treat. My destination, Beechtree Golf Club in Aberdeen. This golf course is ranked not only as one of Maryland’s top golf courses, but as one of the best in the country.

Now with all of this said, I am not comparing the beauty of a natural bridge or a sunset to a golf course. I am just noting that with creativity and the right tools, people can make beauty surely in the eye of the beholder. The four hour venture was pristine with amazing shades of green, offering club bending challenges, bent grass, firm greens, tight lies, and bunkers like no other. And yes, I was talking about the golf course. So with great confidence and a thick wallet, I will say that this course is a must to play.

My next blog will be about my trip to the tennis court and how asphault has changed humanity. Haha… kidding.

"On the ball"

2005-07-27T20:12:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wanted to do so much but only had so much time? With the combination of work, church, sports, and hanging out, I have found it hard to manage my time. I wouldn't say that I have been on the ball about everything, but I will say that I have been moving.

Last weekend a crew of us from Horizon and Central Presbyterian went to "Little Italy." We had a fun time watching an outdoor movie. During the same weekend I got to get some poker in. FoxyPaul cleaned us out, but all in all the night was enjoyable. Sunday was jammed packed with church, food court, coffee time, and finally soccer.

As I mentioned earlier, I have taken a break from my usual Soccer Sundays. This past weekend I decided to play as the team needed players. Personally, I know I am not in the same shape I used to be, and quickly I found this out. After a long game I was well winded. Though I did surprise myself with how I was able to jump right in after two or so months of not playing. At the moment I find myself questioning whether I am going to pick up the shoes again. Though once(in terms of soccer) I was 'on the ball' now I am only weighing out the time available.

So as for now I think that with so much going on, I will continue to take a break from soccer. Who knows, I may replace it with something new and more exciting.

Meandering Road

2005-07-15T10:33:00.000-04:00

This past week has been very full. I would not even note this as full, as in busy. I have been slightly busy at work, but mostly full as being fulfilled. Almost every day I have been hanging out or doing some kind of thing with some of my friends. What I find most appealing is the fact that they are all so different and that one conversation will differ a lot from the next. One may provide company for sporting events, others may enjoy roughing it outdoors, and some may only be good for bearing poor comedic entertainment as "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Regardless, I must say that I truly appreciate my friends.

Sometimes I view this cycle metaphorically as a road. We can drive too many different places and see a lot of beautiful and sometimes even disturbing things. We walk and drive these roads with different people but all and all we do it together.

You can see some of my friends at http://www.myspace.com/twinbro

"Lord God, I thank you for friendship, fellowship, and diversity. I thank you for blessing me with such people and only hope that the community will grow exponentially. For if we are centered on You, the possibilities are endless."

2005-07-07T10:31:00.000-04:00

I think relationships are interesting. Why is it that we become friends or closer with others? Is it the attraction, compatibility, or just maybe common interests? Well, lately I believe more and more God plays a larger role in this. I know sometimes I get confused where God is leading us, but recently things were made more clear to me in a particular situation. I feel I was being tested. I wish it didn't take a month to figure this out, but it could have been longer. Strangely, I feel I gained. I wonder if this victory is something to be happy about. Probably not. I hope that what God truly had in store for this relationship surfaces. But as for now I will enjoy the newness as I start a new page.

Multiple Choice

2005-07-05T10:43:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel God throws so many choices at us? Why can't it just be more simple to live a Godly life? I feel sometimes that the tests God presents to us individually can be not only strenuous but at times feel down right impossible. I know one thing is for sure. He is definitely timely. One thing I have noticed for myself. The challenges almost always bring me closer to Him. I don't know if it is fact that I have worked to show my love, or the fact the I am getting closer to Him as we work through these battles together. Regardless, I thank Him for making things more clear, and love the fact that God's passing grade is different than ours.

"Lord God, Father; I thank you for your grace, understanding, and patience. Please continue to work through me, even though I am not perfect. I hope that through these tests and battles that I can continue to learn more about You. Please continue to inspire me to be the person you created me to be. To my Lord I ask, Amen."

Memorial Day

2005-06-02T09:19:00.000-04:00

Historically the holiday of Memorial Day is a day of remembrance. For me and most I know its a three day weekend filled with a lot of hamburgers and time with friends and family. This past memorial day quite possibly has been the best I can remember. The holiday weekend was filled with a Friday night social, golf, bbq's, a lunch with my family, and sushi/anime.

Friday after work a few of us from Horizon met up with some young adults from Central Presbyterian at "Little Havannas" in Baltimore. I don't know why but I enjoy connecting or connecting with those of other church organizations. Regardless, the night was fun and enjoyable. I look forward to seeing more of this in the future.

Saturday, my buddy Mark and I got up to do our ritual golf endeavor over the weekend. I think the event has become therapeutic for the both of us. There is something fascinating about standing in the middle of the fairway looking down at this tiny white ball, as you work through in your mind how you might successfully send this object to it's home. What a game!

On Sunday Horizon started a series on the Celtic way of evangelism. After the sermon the barbecuing started. I ended up going to two great parties. At both parties I met a lot of new people. Every year my friend Brant throws a memorial party. This one was awesome! I was able to catch up with some old friends from college and met again a lot of new people. Great conversations, and hopefully they will lead to something.

Monday morning, Memorial Day, I got up and got ready to meet my family. My father, twin brother and his wife had lunch in Easton. It's been a long time since I've seen them so it was a nice change. After catching up on their lives and catching them up I was off to Reichley's. I am the first to admit that my interest in anime is not only limiting but nearly non-existent. I went for the sushi! I did enjoy the series though, the parts in which I was awake of course. I give it to Reichley. The guy knows how to entertain.

Until later...

Protégé

2005-05-24T23:07:00.000-04:00

What does it look like to effectively and successfully mentor someone? Can it be done? Can it be measured? I mean of course this is all relative to the situation and what outcome would be true.

Last week, a group of us went out to watch Lucas’s final Star Wars film, “Revenge of the Sith.” Throughout the story of Star Wars there was a common variable. There was a mentor or master, and a protégé . The character Anakin Skywalker was being trained and mentored by Obie-One Canobe. This character did all that he could to help prepare, and aid Skywalker. In the end, all the training and suitable knowledge was not enough. Inevitably, each person has to make the decision, right or wrong. So how much weight do we carry in helping others?

On Saturday, a couple of us went to Lydia’s piano recital. Not that I was not completely impressed on how Lydia prepared and organized such a successful event; I was more impressed with the success of those performing. What amazed me most was that every note and key played was directed from the teacher. Lydia was the mentor and the teacher for all twenty or so people performing. It was interesting to see this process put into action and successful. But Lydia can only offer the “how to” when in fact the protégé has to actually do the work, or “action.” She can’t force them to practice or how much work they do prior to their lessons.

The reason I mention these examples and idea is that lately I have been thinking more and more of how the Lord can help us succeed in leading the stray. How can we offer the “how to” to those to find the right path and walk in a way that they will want to put it into action? How far are we charged from our Lord to go until he takes over? These questions have me wondering. All I know is that I feel compelled to reach out. I only hope that I will be prepared.

Dear Lord, Father please be my guide, my counsel, my friend, my hope, and my way.

~ Protégé

Sabbatical

2005-05-16T20:56:00.000-04:00

Since my last post tons of great things have been going on in all facets of my life. Work has been continually great, link group is still becoming ever so dynamic, new relationships are forming and old ones are getting stronger.

I have been really progressing quickly at work and making a huge impression on those around me. It's great, my quality of life at work has really started to feel rewarding. Perspective has played such a role in this. Last month, the company sent me to Anaheim for training and business. What a great time! I plan to head back to CA soon!

Now that work has slowed down, I feel as though I am getting connected again. The interesting thing is that I have seen so much growth since then. My Wednesday Link Group has really grown and tons of new and old faces are coming and communing. I can't wait to see what God has in store for this group. I see the relationships within the group getting closer.

Dave C. and Kimmie have been regularly having people over for some community and cards. I have really enjoyed this time, not only for the competition, but it has allowed me to get to know not only Dave and Kimmie better but all of those that come. I recommend you try it at least once.

Last week, I went out and bought a new set of golf clubs. I felt as though I treated myself. I don't normally spend that much money on myself, but I thought that I was due. This past Friday I got to put them into action.

As many of you know, I have been actively playing soccer regularly. Looking back I am quite curious where the passion for the game came from. I literally just picked up the game about a year or so ago and since then have organized a few teams. Now I am very grateful for all the relationships that have been connected. It was truly awesome to see so many get so excited about the community and sport. I hope I can be apart of more excitement like this in the future.
Currently, I am have decided to take a break from soccer. Though I will miss it, at the same time I know it will free me up to do other things. I am excited for change.

humbled

2005-04-11T21:01:00.000-04:00

It is strange, one day you maybe going on your business and realize; wow things seem a little brighter now, clearer. The other day I had a revelation, and boy did it hit me smack in the forehead. I noticed something that wasn't so clear before, open up and capture my attention. It slammed me back and with a gulp I realized that at that moment I was not at the head of the line. Sometimes the smallest or largest things can be humbling.

The Masters, the premier pro golf tournament of the world was played this past weekend. Chris DiMarco a tour player held the lead for three rounds. This man had a great lead and was on the verge of his very first major win. Lurking behind him slowly was Tiger Woods. In the end every individual stroke, whether a four inch putt or a three hundred yard drive was of significance. Tiger Woods inched his way to the top and in the end the two players tied with two hundred seventy-six strokes. Chris DiMarco lost in a playoff and tournament by one stroke. How do you think such an event would affect someone?

Metaphorically or not, there will always be someone that falls short. I think that a lot of times pride and selfishness whether very tiny or absurdly raunch, may blind us from our direction. Sometimes we tell ourselves that we just do not care and continue to do wrong as if we carry more weight than the one that blesses us. Other times, we get in such a routine that we feel we can do no wrong and that we have conquered an obstacle, elevating are selfworth maybe to a slight state of pride-fullness. Regardless, sometimes we feel we are on the right track when in fact we have found a banana peel. Some may even say that they are living the "high life."

I think when one finds themselves in a situation similar to this, they are destined to find their way into a humbling experience. I believe it is important to be broken to grow. For myself even lately, I have realized that I at times have let pride get in my way. Being humbled can clearly yank the blinders away and say, "wake the heck up!" We all at times find ourselves getting lost in our day, or lost in our week, waiting for the next break. Waiting for the meeting of friends or a time to relax. But do we lose track of where each minute has come from?

Today the air seems a little fresher, the sky a little brighter, the grass a little greener. As a person of competitive nature, I have to learn that coming in first doesn't mean you always win.
I hope I take this humbling experience and grow far more closer to one that created this greatness called, "life."

Twenty Seven

2005-04-08T09:43:00.000-04:00

Last Tuesday I turned Twenty Seven. Even though the week has been more than busy, it didn't interfere with me having a nice chill birthday. I ended up working in Washington DC for most of the day. Relay, Foxy Paul and myself went to "Bone Fish" for an amazing meal. It was very relaxed and nice. Lately, I think because of work, too many people is too much. I recommend the Mahi Mahi! You will pay a little more going there but it could serve as a nice date location, very classy. Afterwards, we headed over to "Outback Steakhouse" for a drink and chatted. Fun conversations for sure.

So I was asked, "So how does it feel, being 27"? Honestly, it's another day. I mean, I do think I'm starting to get older, but it's not mid-life crisis time yet. :-) No need for the sports car yet! I tend to feel younger at work and older around my friends. So it's a good mix. But again, I see it as another number.

During the long week I have had three tremendous meals. Mostly all of them paid for, so even better! During one of the meals on Wednesday, I ate at the "Capital Grille" in Washington DC. This place had to be one of the most classiest places that I have step foot in. The food was ridiculous. The appetizers alone were seventy-five dollars a piece and the average plate was fifty dollars. I had an amazing fourteen ounce filet mignon and tons of other food accessories. As soon as you put down a fork or knife a new replacement was there without any notice of the servers. It was almost ninja-esk.

So today, tomorrow, and days ahead I will tell those who ask this new age. Hopefully, those conversations lead to some meaningful and relational building opportunities.

Father, I thank You for such a blessed year and rejoice over what You have provided. You offer so much, when we have little. I thank You for another year, and am excited to see what You have in store for me in the next. You are my Lord, my Father, and my Life. With that I pray in Your holy name, Jesus Christ. -Amen

Miss USA 2005

2005-04-01T10:55:00.000-05:00

Normally, I wouldn't blog something like this, but thought it was a very cool experience and had to share. Last Wednesday my company threw a huge technology trade show. The show was held at the Sheraton in Columbia. That morning I ended up getting there early to the surprise of a sign awaiting me. The big sign read, "Miss USA 2005." Without the help of coffee, I was then wide awake. The pageant contestants were touring the area for exposure and hitting some charity organizations. My job in the morning was to direct traffic to the seminars. I ventured to the room in which the seminars were held, and was pleasantly surprised to see all the Miss USA contestants eating breakfast right next door. You should have seen all the customers. Technology was the last thing they were interested in. The women were soon off to there travels for the day. After the long day and night of entertaining customers a few of us woke up to the surprise of having the ladies on the same floor as us. Again, no coffee needed! If I was to vote I would have to give my vote to Miss Kentucky!

Work

2005-03-29T20:09:00.000-05:00

So you may ask, what has Banks been up to as of late? I will say lately I have been forced to be very productive. Things at the office are going very well. For those of you who may not know, I work as an account manager for a global distributor of communications solutions. My job is to solicit, create, and maintain business opportunities. I started working for this particular firm four months ago. This past month has been my most successful. With the success comes sacrifice. I've been working late on many occasions and going in early. The only negative thing is that my busy work schedule is starting to cut into my time outside of the office. I value my time with my friends. I hope work doesn't continue to interfere with my time off. I don't want to get used to having to give that up.

For a while now, I have tried to work on finding time to visit my family. This past weekend I said forget it. I am going to take a day off and just go. So I did. I spent time with my twin brother and played a round of golf. It was great to have the time to chat. Friday night I went to a church service at a local Methodist church. My cousin has been so on fire as of late, and I wanted to check out this church in which he has spoke so highly. It was very powerful and I enjoyed seeing such a different way of worship. God is surely working in this church. Saturday I ended up practicing with my cousin's coed softball team. I grew up playing baseball but haven't played in almost a year. It was a lot of fun. Before I realized it I was driving back to the real world. It was great to take the break and spend it with my family.

Yesterday, I left the office and headed home. I told myself, "I am going to go to the gym." Where did this thought come from? I haven't been in months. Well, I did manage to get in a great workout. I even went tonight. I plan to work harder to be more disciplined about my physical fitness. I really want to challenge myself to get back into top notch shape. It's been some time since I was in great shape. I need to start somewhere.

St Patty's Day

2005-03-18T10:21:00.000-05:00

Saint Patrick's Day is a day that I enjoy. I don't know why, it used to be because it was a great excuse to get drunk and do foolish things. Having an Irish heritage, I believe has something to do with it. Regardless, yesterday I went to work wearing green and even brought in some shamrock cookies. That was pretty much the extent of it.

After work I met up with a friend to chat. It was cool, because i've known this person for a long time, but realized I really don't know them. It was nice to have a chance to get to peel the onion back a little and gain an understanding. I love to see and learn how people work.

Afterwards, Paul, Brad, and myself headed over to "Bill Bateman's."
I thought that a great way to end the day would be a night out with the guys over a Guiness. While I was there I realized that my perception of the bar scene is so different now. Us guys had some fun conversations and enjoyed the element of being guys. I had them going with the attention I was putting on the female bartenders legs. I don't know why, but I love to introduce ideas and thoughts just to provoke reactions. My intentions were clean. Anyways, we didn't stay too long, but it was nice go out and hang with the boys for a night. ST Patty's Day is once a year, and every year on the 17th. I'm sure next year may be different, but I do believe it will involve sipping on a cold Guiness.

Dear Lord...TGIF :-)

Grooving

2005-03-15T19:33:00.000-05:00

These past few days have been quite busy, but very full. I don't know if that makes much sense. But lately, I have noticed things in a different light. Have you had a song stuck in your head for days? I feel like the past few days have been like a great tune.

The past few weeks I felt myself overworked and just started to feel disconnected. I actually started to feel as though that my passion was leaking out of me. I felt like I had crack in my side. This started to hinder my motivation with things I wanted to do, or was asked to do.

Well, about a week ago I have started looking at things a little differently. This wasn't something I just decided to do, it just happened. What I realized was that I was starting to focus on those around me, rather than God. Lately, I have been diving back into the word daily. I guess for a while this was something that I hate to say, was not becoming a priority. I believe for me that staying fresh in the Word is something very important.

This past week, I have been shown some very tangible ways in which I have been blessed. I know that it isn't a direct correlation to me being hungry as of late, but it is always great to see the power of God working in my life. He surprised me the other day, and the feeling was great.

Father, I thank You for understanding my weaknesses. I thank You for accepting me, for me. I smile to know more about You and look forward to that through Your word. You are my Lord, and with that I thank.

Time with the Folks

2005-03-01T19:15:00.000-05:00

Until this past weekend it had been more than two months since I had seen my parents. Lately I have been really missing them. And after looking at my calendar it will be some time when I do make the trip back home. But last week I called my father up and asked him to meet me some where half way for lunch.

So on Sunday after the service, I rushed out of the movie theater and headed to meet the folks. Since they live in Salisbury, somewhere near the Bay Bridge was the most central. We ended up meeting at a seafood restaurant called, "The Fishermans Inn." It is right on the water in Kent Narrows. As I pulled up I saw my parents getting out of their car, it gave me such a warm feeling. I guess I felt an immediate sense of love. I feel so fortunate to have such a strong family, and a family that is not separated. Well anyways, we got the hugs in and headed in. Quickly my mom did the glance over to see if I was eating well. They think because I am a single guy, that I starve myself. So my mom was full of questions, but it was nice. I typically speak to my father so it was a way for her to catch up with me. The meal was great and so was the conversation. It was very comforting to be there with them. Since I am pretty much the only child to move away, and the only one that is not married, they seem to still feel tied as parents and supporting. To give you an idea of my father's character. This man is unbelievably generous to those around him. At least once a month I get a letter from him and a gift card. My mother wanted to know all the in's-and-out's of my new job. So most of the conversation was a catch up on my life. But then I got to hear the new things going on in their lives. My mother may be promoted soon to assistant director of Nursing at the nursing home that she works at. I thought that was great. We talked for a few hours and all agreed that we need to try to meet up more often.

I only live three hours from my family, but three hours is enough distance to make visits difficult. I must say that I cherish any moment or time I can have with them. Some people don't realize how lucky they are to have their family so close. It's when they aren't around when you feel it. I am going to make an effort to make time for them. They mean so much to me.

Reunion

2005-02-22T22:00:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was different than usual. On Saturday, I met up with some old friends from college. During the time at Salisbury University this group spent many nights hanging out and having fun. It was great to get back together hear what we all are doing now. It was also enjoyable to talk about and remember some of the crazy times we had.

My friend Kat, just moved into a house in Columbia. She decided to throw a "Wine & Cheese" party. Kat hosted a great party. I tried some unique kinds of cheese. The wine was great. I prefer red wine for sure. Not that I was trying to drink like old times, but to taste the different kinds of wine was nice. I did find that "Yellow Tail" is a very cost effective and good wine. I do recommend it.

While I was enjoying the music, the food, the company, and the wine, I realized that we all have come along way since we graduated. It's funny normally in college, some will ask, "where do you see yourself in five years"? Two of my friends were in serious relationships and on their way to marriage. Others were still building their careers. The common questions were, "so what do you do?" "so is their anyone in your life?""what have you been up too?" I then looked back onto where I have come. When I graduated I was still with my ex-girlfriend, I was still in party mode, and I was definitely living my life day-to-day. I think now that I look back, I don't look at what I have accomplished, or where I have grown. I ask myself, "Do I understand myself better, and am I happy?" One major factor obviously has been the fact that I have committed my life to Christ. Since then, my life and character has slowly transformed and still is. I also have noticed that since my involvement with the church, I have grown such a great community of friends. Some may call them brothers and sisters. Someday, I may even re-unite with these friends and talk about all the great times and events.

The power of a relationship is incredible. Sometimes just time spent, a deep trust, a common interest, a similar belief, or even a cold beer can be the tie to friendships. All relationships have seasons and when we have the opportunity to reunite, it is usually good for great times and laughs. This time was fun, and I truly look forward to the next time I get a chance to hang out with my old college buddies.

Mosquito

2005-02-15T21:15:00.000-05:00

Have you ever met someone for the first time and just knew that you probably wouldn't get along with them? I never go out to judge others, but I do have a pretty good read on ones character. The reason I mention this, is the fact that lately I have been dealing with a situation that is not ordinary for me. Frankly, I can't understand the situation and it has me unbalanced and holding my tongue.

See, ever since I started my new job I have had the privilege to meet tons of new and interesting people. In the process many have gotten to know me. On the other hand, this one girl, has been quite the opposite. In fact, since day one, she has treated me with little regard or respect. It is somewhat of a conundrum. Generally and modestly, I find others are eager to get to know me, and find me insightful. Unfortunately, this is not the case. I have attempted to be nice but it only feeds the fire. Typically now, in a day, we may say a few words to one another. It is quite sad. Another thing is that I have to listen to her all day. I can honestly say that I do not believe I have ever met a more annoying individual. Mix whining, fueled with a constant need for attention, to a very insecure woman in a horrible relationship. I hear it all, all day. And when she takes the time to attempt to amuse herself with quirky comments aimed at me, it does not make it easier to hold my words. I have outwardly professed my beliefs. She uses that when possible to attempt to catch me. This broken girl needs love, and help. I try so hard to compose myself during her childish actions. Honestly, I find myself wanting to slam her verbally. I thank the Lord for the will to withhold. Again, I still don't understand why this individual has chosen me to take out her pain. Is it for entertainment? Do I throw out some arrogant facade that would make others want to challenge me? All I know is that she has become a pest to me, and keeps on biting. I have prayed for healing for this person, I just don't know. I don't want my strong personality to over take my passion to follow Christ's will. Please pray.

Lord God, I ask for direction and clarity. I ask You to continue in the life of this girl. She needs to know You and learn to understand how much You love her. Lord, I ask for wisdom and discernment when dealing with these strainful situations. Lord, if I may have a flaw, I give it you. Please draw any weaknesses away from this relationship. Heal this haughty heart Lord. I ask this all in your precious name, Amen.

"Called Out"

2005-02-07T07:40:00.000-05:00

Today I decided to clean my wounds, grab a bed, and stay home. See, I have been battling a cold for the past week or so, and finally it has caught up to me. I called my mother(RN) yesterday, and she was upset to hear her son sick. And then she got a little mad that I told her that I have been continuing to play my normal two days a week of soccer. I thought I was going to pass out last night.

I know it's been sometime since my last entry. A lot has happened since then. Mostly, I have been hanging out when possible with my friends at Horizon. A lot of the time involves hang out and fellowship after the Friday night soccer games. We finished our first season and we had so much interest with people wanting to play, that I organized another team. Multiplying the team out was tough but it has allowed others to play. I have friends playing on my other team integrating with friends from church. Shoot, you never know, at this pace we may have a enough teams for a league of our own.

This past weekend I had the privilege to share a monumental moment with my friends Mark and Sandi. They got married this past Saturday and had an amazing reception. It was so wonderful seeing all my old friends from Grace. It was also so interesting to see so many new couples. I was sitting back in one of the pews waiting for wedding party. I gazed over the church and saw a couple of my friends (guy & girl) sitting rather closely. And then I realized wow. God was very present during the ceremony and the reception was brilliant. I left early but know that if I wasn't sick it would have been a great addition to my sweet weekend.

Last night was Superbowl Sunday. After a great service and message from Josh Smith, some friends ventured over to Rebecca and Suzanne's. Thanks ladies, for opening up your place. The food prepared was great. I left early to go to my Sunday night game. I can not believe that they scheduled the game on this night. We (the team) guessed that it was because it was run by a bunch of people of Hispanic decent. (as PC as it gets) We all show up, and I mean we ALL. I was amazed to see how many of our team made it out. We usually have trouble having the team show up consistently. On the night of the Superbowl, a night everyone I know wants to be hogging it out, throwing back a brew, and screaming with all your friends. Yes, this night! This group drove miles to make the game, and we did. Our team was there and ready, but the other, well I believe they were all doing what I wanted to be doing. So we all played a scrimmage game and took our forfeit win. Currently, Cross-eyed is now in first place! *Booya*

Well, now I am going to take this time today to rest. I have some meds, my TV, and a smoking book. Until, the next time. Hopefully, it won't be another day when I call out.

Sweet Apple Pie

2005-01-23T20:47:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was full of events. From Friday to Sunday it was jam packed! This is becoming very typical for me. But I definitely enjoy tons of stuff, it makes me feel as if I had a complete weekend.

Friday night the Horizon soccer team had it's second to last game of this season. We all got to see our new jerseys! I think some were surprised, but I like the fact that we are unified. To give you a picture, imagine fifteen adults playing soccer and wearing mostly pink tie-dyed jerseys. They are very bright and some very tight! Regardless, our Friday nights game was great!

On Saturday the snow came. It really hit the Baltimore area and Western Maryland fast. A few of us took the white and slippery adventure up to the Bandy's house. We got there safe and chilled there all day. It's amazing how a few people can entertain one another for such a long period of time. The dinner Mrs. Bandy prepared was monumental. I sincerely thought I was having a holiday dinner. So much food! I was in heaven. And then, lurking and eyeing the field, was this Goliath of an apple pie. I think she must have put a whole bag of apples in this one pie. I kid you not, this was a blue ribbon pie all the way! Later we all enjoyed it with vanilla icecream. I know you must all be salivating. I want to thank the Bandy's for their unending and genuine hospitality. This family has a heart for serving.

Sunday, the church services were cancelled. A few of us got together at the Geek house. I swear I got there at eleven-thirty and in no time it was four o'clock. It was definitely a fun group of people! Then I was off to my Sunday soccer game. This game was fierce and intense. Both teams battled back and forth as we were down during the half. The second half we went after them and won in dramatic fashion with fifteen seconds left in the game. Man, does it feel so great to win in that way.

Your words or Mine?

2005-01-12T13:55:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a conversation where you were just eager to get a word in? I know that I find myself doing this. Why do we do this? I wonder if we find our words more important than those around us? Some try to gain recognition, while others may do it for entertainment. Everyone has their reasons, but really, why is it that we are charged to offer our thoughts? How important is it really, that we are good listeners?

Last weeks sermon was from James as well. James tells us to be slow to speak, quick to listen. How does this play in our lives? Are we not suppose to throw our hands up and give a response? I think most will agree that we all need to learn to be better listeners.

At work, I find myself fighting between these two. I listen tentatively to my boss, and those that may offer great information. But in a sales meeting, I find myself quickly analyzing the dialog and motioning through my mind what to say next. In that environment your thoughts and words matter! The quicker the better.

As a kid, we were told to listen carefully from our parents, and not to talk back. I think some where in school we slowly were trained to speak up. Has our culture hindered us from being better listeners?

I know I have a lot to work on. I have to get out of this mode where I am trying to offer a solution in a conversation, or a new idea. Why can't I just lean back and listen. I guess what it comes down too is, do we show more love through what we say or how we listen?

I don't think this is cut-and-dry, but I know that there is room for me to improve my listening skills. I can only see it help strengthen my relationships.

Actions

2005-01-08T11:21:00.000-05:00

A car cuts in front of you last minute
A player taunts you on the field
A group is gossiping
A friend is in need

How do my actions when dealing with situations like these affect other people?

Lately, I have been in up-and-down moods. Last week, the sermon was out of James where he talks about how our faith is justified by our actions. It really has me thinking of how others may perceive me, and whether that is how I want to be perceived. What is my reputation? In my past I had a tendency to be a little blunt and short with people. I really didn't think before I spoke or when I offered my mind. I have really changed since then, but on occasion the old Banks shines through. So when I'm in a down mood I tend to kick myself later. So during one of those times, what happens if I run into someone who is seeking or needs consoling? I wouldn't approach me. And I wouldn't approach the same guy honking his horn at me, or yelling at an opposing player. So are we always suppose to have a character and actions that are consistent with our faith? When is God going to use me? One question that I am going to continue to remind myself to reflect. "Do your actions reflect your faith?" I am beginning to see that my actions are relative to whom I am around. I don't think this is always a good thing. During our link group a friend made a good point. Our actions start from within. If our heart is true and our faith, then it will shine through in our actions. We all have things to work on. I am just going to try to be more aware of myself, we never know when others are watching.

New Year

2005-01-03T19:01:00.000-05:00

While many cultures and people celebrate the new year on a different calendar year, we celebrate it on the first of January. So much has happened in the past year. It has definitely been a year that has had significant precedence.

The year started off with God blessing me with my home. Shortly after that I found the church Horizon. Leaving my previous church was a difficult decision, but I feel as though I was blessed with the outcome, and have grown exponentially in the process. I have developed some strong friendships and have seen God work in amazing ways through the people around me.

One of the strongest memories during the past year was the baptism. Having the opportunity to outwardly and publicly announce to the community that I am a follower, and that I am living my life for Christ was so important to me. I am so proud to say that I love Jesus, and that I am nothing without Him.

I now look onto the upcoming year. I pray that I will be prepared and willing to make the sacrifices that I need to do, to do God's will and honor God in everything I do. I know this will be a year of excitement and yearn to see what God has in store for me next.

Lord God, no words are great enough to explain my gratitude for how you have blessed me. I yearn to understand you and how I can serve you next. I am excited about the challenges you may bring. I give myself to you. Use me in anyway to build Your great church. I love you more than any physical thing that I may own, want, touch or see. I thank you for this past year and the year to come! In your glorious name I pray. -Amen

Bring the Heat

2004-12-30T11:03:00.000-05:00

This morning has been so slow at work and tomorrow will be even slower. I woke up cold once again. Last night I had a maintenance guy come out and we found out the problem. Unfortunately, he had to pick up a part before he could fix it. But I must say that I am very excited to know that we will be getting heat soon enough. Some of these days have been so uncomfortable.

I worked from the Baltimore office yesterday and even drove by Tronster early in the morning. It was very cool to see a familiar face before work. This office has an atmosphere that is quite different from the one I usually work at. I grabbed my coffee and was headed to my desk. "Oh, you can't drink that without a lid!" replied one person. The office was so quiet all day. I'm glad that my current office is a little more lively.

Afterwards, I headed to the Sprint Store. I finally bought a new phone. My old phone was years old and just started to frustrate me. I came close to tossing it out the window on more than one occasion. Sprint really hooked me up on a great deal and I receive the phone for FREE, well after the rebate. The phone is not only a camera phone, it's best feature is the internal AM/FM Radio. I must say that I have been loving it! The reception is incredible and here at work today, it is the only thing keeping me sane. The only downside was the fact that my old phone was so old they couldn't swap the telephone directory. I had to manually enter two hundred and forty entries.

So I am leaving work a little early to meet up with the repair man. After tonight I will finally have heat. My roommates will be so happy, as will I.

"Walking the Plank"

2004-12-28T11:35:00.000-05:00

Last night after work I headed to "Java Mammas" to have the match. Chess is a game that I played only a little growing up, but enjoy any chance for competition. Last night Lydia and I met to have the highly anticipated chess match. There was a lot of trash talking prior to this game.

I ended up getting to "Java Mammas" early and ran into Chase from Owings Mills Horizon. We had a good conversation about relationships/friendships in general. Conversations like these make me realize that the idea of more guy fellowship is something that the community needs.

Lydia then showed up and it was on! I think she was slightly scared.(yeah right!) I must say it was an intense game. We played for at least an hour and only had three of each other's pieces.
I ended up making some strong moves but in the end Queen Lydia prevailed. As the match neared its end, she redefined the word, "Zugzwang" or "Walking the Plank." I did enjoy the competitive game, and it was surely that.

It's strange, afterwards we chatted and I realized something later. I find that opening up and letting others know about my past can be like walking the plank. I find it hard to open up and let certain people know my skeletons. Can you relate? I guess if I think that the other person can't relate, then I feel that they may think less of me or judge me for some of the mistakes i've made. I don't know why this is. Even people I have become close too, I still feel reluctant to open up to my past. I wonder if this is a bad thing? I don't feel it is necessary to let everyone know where you have come from, but I do feel that I need to open up more to some. My past shouldn't be mystery. It is a testament to what I have overcome and grown from. This is something I want to work on so others may learn to understand me better. We'll see...

Holiday Times

2004-12-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

These past few days have been full of great times and definitely had events that will be great memories for years to come.

I traveled to Salisbury Thursday night. I made it there without much trouble. That night I spent time with my brother and family. It was a great time to just catch up and talk about what's new.

Friday was Christmas eve and I still hadn't gotten a single gift! I got up early that morning and headed to my first shopping destination. It was madness. See there are only a couple places for people to shop at in Salisbury. I made good time and really got most my shopping done in a couple hours. So my father and I grabbed a bite to eat and talked about things in my life and I had a chance to talk about what was going on with him. It was great father-son time. We got home and found the Christmas tree on the floor! The cat (Max) had a thing for one of the rotating bulbs. The cat must have jumped into the tree and pulled it to the ground. This was a first in all my years of experiencing Christmas at the Banks house. I found it quite hilarious, my mother's opinion was quite different. Later that night the family was to meet at our grandfather's house for the traditional gift exchange and dinner. The whole night the family was cracking jokes back and forth. It was a great night to have the family together and laugh. We had a family picture taken, which I will post later.

Saturday was the big day, Christmas. We always have a nice Christmas breakfast and then talk. This Christmas, the family had the breakfast but got together later in the day to have the gift exchange. As a kid this would have been hard, but now I am not as eager to open presents. I just enjoy giving and being with my family. Later that night, my brother, his wife, my cousin, and a friend of his had some prayer time. On my way to Salisbury, I thought it would be great to get together and pray. This was such an awesome experience. Gus(my cousin) had a friend that is a single mother that opened up her house. It was refreshing to not only praise and pray to our Lord on his birthday, but to do this with my family. This was something I have never experienced. My cousin is new to all of this and is so hungry for God. Seeing people at this stage just revives me.
This was a very intimate time as we all were vulnerable. My sister-in-law really enjoyed it and we have decided to pray every time I come down. This makes me smile.

Sunday, I was up bright and early to hit the road back home. I made it back just in time for service. And I am so glad that I did not miss this service. The worship time was really special.
The sermon reflected on what had happened to each of us in the past year. It is great to reflect back and remember the good and the bad. This is how we can grow. I like the fact that Mark stated to leave it there. The past is the past and let's makes this upcoming year even greater.
This past year has been an amazing year. It's been almost exactly one year since I started coming to Horizon. I feel blessed to have met and grown with so many amazing individuals. Everyday I am meeting new, or learning more and more about those that are around me. I cherish the fact that this community is able to open up to one another. Again, I feel so blessed, for the people around me have helped make who I am.

"Icicles"

2004-12-21T11:34:00.000-05:00

Wow...it has been cold out! Monday morning it registered eight degrees fahrenheit. Today, things are warming up, but would you say thirty degrees is warm? Over all getting used to the cold weather will take some time. I prefer the spring!

Lately, I have been noticing that my thermostat in the house hasn't been working well. And last night I realized that the heat just wasn't working! The temperature in the house got down lower than the thermostat. It was freezing! Paul ended up going over to Tronster's to sleep. I believe the pilot light has blown out. I must fix this soon, or if anyone needs to keep any perishables cool, bring them over!

As the days are going by and the holiday is nearing, my excitement is getting greater. I feel as though it's been too long since I spent quality time with my family. It should be a great time.
I hear that the weather is just as cold or colder than it is here, so I better bring the gloves and hat. One great outlook on the cold weather is that we may not only have icicles this Christmas, but snow! Let's cross our fingers for that "White Christmas!"

Coffee = Wake up call

2004-12-17T13:18:00.000-05:00

So far work has been superior. Things are totally coming into place. I haven't slept well lately but my early morning coffee has been my boost. The coffee at the office is pretty disgusting, so I doc it up with one packet of coco. Not too shabby.

Monday after work I ended up going to a happy hour with a vendor. I ended my alcohol free run. I was pretty disappointed but what can you do? I just ask for strength for when I am tempted again. Later that night I met with Dave and Jenn to go over ideas for Link Group. I better get thick skin quick... We all were so tired. A cup of coffee was the only fuel to get us through it.

Link group went pretty well I guess, it's weird when you are on the other side of things. That night I became aware of my constant outbursts and usages of the word, "dude!" I have a ton keeping me accountable. I will stop! Haha that sounds so corny! If I can defeat cursing I can beat this stupid semantical spatting. Afterwards, a bunch of us went to shoot pool afterwards. I must say that was pretty darn cool. I hope the LG does more things like this. It's a great time to get to know one another. I also must say that some of those guys can shoot some pool! Impressive stuff.

Last night I had another happy hour with another vendor. I hope these don't become a typical event for me. I also again had a couple drinks. Man... I only had two, but those two tasted so...good...(the feeling, not just taste) This makes my decision to drop this habit altogether easier. I just need to hold my place and do it. I pray.

I have found a better route to get home and the commute is getting quicker and easier.
I said it in link group... Praise him... My life is starting to really take a different form in such a great way.

The Weekend

2004-12-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

After a great week of work, I ended up having an equally pleasant weekend. It consisted of tons of soccer, more Karaoke revelation, some poker madness, a great sermon, and one heck of a birthday party.

Friday night was "Horizon's" third game. We did end up losing, but overall we seemed to have more confidence as a team. Again, it's going to take some time. One funny moment happened when I got turned around and fired a shot on my own goal. Thankfully, Matt was able to put a hand on it. Of course my reason was to keep him awake. *wink* The fan base came out again to support. I find that to be just great, especially knowing the teams capabilities. They came out with creativity and brought some cool signs. Thanks to the bunch! Afterwards, Tali, Lydia, and myself ventured back to the Lydia's. We all talked and had some fun with Karaoke Revelation. Tali rocked the house. We put it on random the whole time, so we did get some interesting selections. I had to recite, Madonna's "Like a Virgin." Let's say I was not to excited about it. HAHA... It was a very fun time though.

Saturday I headed to Java Mamma's early on. I got the most amazing cup of coffee. I love that place! I ended up cleaning up that day to prepare for the poker night. Poker rocked! Tali, Royer, Paul, and myself went head to head. I ended up being the chip winner, but overall the three hours of time was full of fun. I think everyone left feeling like they won. We are going to do this more.

This morning at church was a little different. I usually always help set up but after a few of us got together to pray for the church and the people within. I thought it was a great idea and look forward to keep this going. Prayer is such an amazing thing. The sermon was great and afterwards we all received two dollar bills. I think I liked the note better than I money. It will be interesting how I choose to spend it. After the service and the food court, I headed to the geek house to take a two hour nap. Then it was off to Meagan's birthday party. It was so cool to see the interactions and Meagan on HER day. Meagan is truly an amazing girl and has a great heart for God and others. I hope she has a most blessed year. Then I was off to the next soccer game.

Tonight was the last playoff game of this season. Our opponent has beat us by one goal each of the last meetings. So we all were pumped as for many it was their last game. Not all are returning for the following season. We played very well as a team tonight and won in dramatic fashion. With twenty seconds left in the game our star player made one move and had his chance. One fake move to the right was enough to stun the goalie as the ball hit the back of the net. Wow, our best win yet! It was a very rewarding victory.